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And since Aaron is my brother and not my child, it’s illegal for me to see any of his records.
At least, that’s what I’ve been told.
I’ve tried.
For years, I’ve tried to find him. Every night, I look. I check digital phone books, and I browse random social media pages. I look up his legal name, his nicknames, and anything else I think could potentially bring me a hit, but nothing ever does.
I have a feeling that I’m never going to find him.
One of these days, I need to just give up.
Only, I can’t bring myself to do it.
There’s a part of me that wonders if he’s looking for me the same way I’m looking for him. If I’m being honest, that’s the real reason I don’t want to leave town. It would make more sense for me to just go somewhere else. Anywhere else. I can’t do it, though.
What if Aaron wants to find me, too?
What if he needs me?
I finish my searching, watch a show I don’t know the name of, and curl up in my bed.
I WAKE UP TO SOMEONE knocking on my door.
“Hey, you have someone here.” Beatrice is pounding on the door, and I don’t know why. Ugh. I shove a pillow over my head, but she just knocks harder.
“Tell them to come back later.”
“It’s a delivery,” she says. “You have to sign.”
“Wrong house. I didn’t order anything.”
“For fuck’s sake, Alex, get up.”
I start moving and hurry to the door. Sort of. I kind of trip over a box and bump into my desk. The laptop shakes but seems to be fine. Good.
“What delivery?” I ask as I open the door.
“I don’t know, but hurry. He’s been there a few minutes.”
Sure enough, when I reach the door, there’s a delivery person standing on the porch with a clipboard and what appears to be a dress bag. He looks bored, but he pastes on a professional-looking smile when he sees me. It’s dark out. How late does this dude do deliveries?
“Can I help you?”
“Alexandra Sparrow?”
“Yes.”
“Please sign here.”
“I didn’t order anything.” Mostly, I can’t afford whatever it is that he’s bringing. Nobody sends me packages, either. I haven’t talked to my mom in years. I don’t have any friends who want to send me gifts. There’s no one.
There’s no reason I should be receiving this package.
He doesn’t seem surprised at this. His boredom only intensifies as he taps the tablet he’s holding out to me.
“Just sign.”
With a bit of a growl, I reach for the device and sign my name.
