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Besides, it wasn’t like I had the best example of a family to fall back on. I’d be worried I’d fuck a kid up if they had to rely on me for anything.
It really said something about Jenna’s strength and determination that she had two kids, especially since talking about the things they’d gone through would probably trigger memories of her own past. She and Rylan were amazing people, and for the first time in a long time, I liked the idea of having friends. Of having them for friends.
The conversation became little snippets here and there as we focused on our food.
I’d gotten the sea bass, and the first bite was divine. I didn’t eat fish often because I’d never learned to prepare it myself and I rarely wanted to trust a chef I didn’t know. Rylan’s and Jenna’s praise had prompted my order, and I was glad that I could give a positive report.
This was nice, being here with them. I didn’t need to worry about hiding my past or worrying that they’d see right through me. I could be myself. If I mentioned my father being in prison, it wouldn’t silence the room. I could talk about my mother without being afraid of the questions that would come. If they did ask questions, they wouldn’t be offended if I didn’t answer.
I felt the prick of tears and took a slow breath to steady myself. After everything that had gone on these past few weeks, my emotions were closer to the surface than they’d ever been. At least these would be good tears. I’d never had much occasion for those in my life.
Jalen put his hand on my knee and gave a gentle squeeze. When I looked at him, his expression was soft. “You okay?” It was barely a whisper, and I appreciated him trying to keep the question private.
“I’m great,” I said, giving him a smile.
“Jalen, I have a business-related question for you,” Rylan interrupted the moment.
“I thought we agreed no business tonight,” Jenna said.
“Just one question.” He gave Jenna an impossibly charming smile. “I promise it’ll only be one and then I’ll be good the rest of the night.”
“Doubtful,” she said. The love shining in her eyes took away any bite their banter might have had.
“Thanks.” Rylan turned to Jalen. “Do you have any experience with the latest software update for the Guardian security system? I’m thinking about upgrading Archer Enterprises, but I’ve heard some people say that it’s not all it’s promised to be.”
Jalen nodded. “I’ve heard that too. They wanted me to look at their specs before they went to market, but they refused to give me consultant credit because they didn’t want people thinking that my company was involved in the production.”
Jenna sighed and looked over at me, shaking her head. “We’ve lost them. Once he gets talking tech, it’s all over. I bet Jalen’s the same way.”
I didn’t tell her that I didn’t know Jalen well enough to know if that was his tendency or not. Maybe, in a few months, I’d be able to contribute something to the conversation. Right now, I just laughed and let myself enjoy the rest of the evening. The future would get here when it got here.
