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Briana
Pretending was getting harderby the day. It was like the more I tried to project that things were okay and that my heart wasn't in ribbons inside my chest, the more the world seemed determined to bring me down. Sometimes, I pretended like he was coming back, but more often, because it was healthier and easier, I just pretended that I was okay. That the smile on my outside came from within, and that each step through life didn't feel like glass shards on bare feet.
I was doing a particularly good job of pretending on Wednesday evening when I read Mikala her favorite story before bed, and then went out into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. Tiffany was in bed, where she had been most of the day, despite my gentle prodding. I felt horrible for her.
I took my wine into the living room and settled on the couch.
Maybe one day I'd move someplace where I didn't have to share a place with anyone but Mikala. Maybe a house instead of an apartment. Somewhere we could see the stars. I'd take Mikala out at night to go exploring like my dad and I used to do. Before I'd become a disappointment.
And I just made things worse when I started dating Elroy. My family found it hard to forgive me for running off with the school psychopath. I didn't blame them, though a part of me wished I could reach out and fix things with them. I couldn't though. Not without risking them finding out about my past. And that could never happen.
I picked up the remote and started flipping through channels until I found an episode of House Hunters to watch. Normally, I wasn't much for Home and Garden TV, but something about tonight had put me in a different kind of mood, one where I didn't want to think. I just wanted to exist.
A banging at the door twenty minutes later pulled me away from my thoughts. I checked the clock on my phone. Who the hell was banging on the door at nine-thirty at night? Just because we were in Vegas didn’t mean everyone kept those kind of hours.
Curiosity compelled me to answer the door. On the other side stood Elroy, glowering down at me like I'd done something he didn't approve of...as though any of my life was his business.
I exhaled a long breath. “What do you want?”
He rolled his shoulders back, cracking his neck in the process. I suppressed the look of disgust that threatened to emerge. No need to provoke him when he was like this.
“You gonna let me in?” he barked.
I shook my head. “I don't think so.”
He lifted one side of his mouth in a malicious snarl, then surged forward. Fortunately, I'd moved to the side at the last second. If I hadn't, I had no doubt he would have just bowled me over.
“What's this about?” I asked, suppressing the desire to tell him to get the hell out. I had my suspicions as to why he was here, but I still hoped he'd come for some reason other than to blackmail me.
Elroy often made threats and didn't follow through with them. Today, however, I felt like there was something different. And I needed to know what it was. I needed to protect my daughter.
Elroy didn't answer my question though. He stomped over to the couch and plopped down. I glared at him.
“You have to be quiet,” I hissed. “I just got Mikala to bed.”
“I'll be as loud as I fucking want to be.” His eyes flashed with malice, but I couldn't help but notice that he kept a hushed tone all the same. He angrily slapped the spot next to him. “Sit.”
I reluctantly walked over and sat down as far away from him as I could. I didn't like letting him think he was in charge, but I'd learned the hard way to choose my battles. And I had a feeling that a battle was definitely what was coming.
“Let's get down to business,” he said with a cruel tilt of his lips. “I've got videos of you on your back, from the back, every which way a pathetic slut like you can be fucked. And I'm ready to upload them to the internet and make you the next viral video sensation. Understand?”
I swallowed a thick knot of disgust. It was worse than I thought. The trump card he'd been sitting on for years was finally about to be played. I could see it in his eyes.
I hadn’t realized that Elroy videotaped my “dates” until after I left him, and he told me as a way to intimidate me. It had shocked me then, and I’d spent the past three years trying not to think about them. But they'd always been there, in the back of my mind. They were a huge reason I hadn't tried to get his visitation revoked.
“Why would you do that?” The word came out in a whisper. “Think of what it would do to Mikala.”
“Did I say I was finished speaking?” he spat. “Shut the fuck up and listen before I give you something else to do with your mouth.” He grabbed his crotch.
My head swam as I tried to think my way out of this. But desperation and stress didn't make good bedfellows for logical thought.
“I've also got pictures of you and Dorian together. Couldn't get any of you fucking, but that won't matter.”
“Won't matter to whom?”
His eyes glinted. “To the court, you dumb bitch.”
He reached out and grabbed a lock of my hair, running it through his fingers. The gesture was almost affectionate. Almost.
