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Chris’ indiscretions aren’t black and white, either. I’ve faked orgasms, played the perfect part in public… but we are otherwise strangers. I’ve never let him in, never let him get to know the real me. While it doesn’t excuse it, I can understand why he might need someone else, if only to feel something…anything. I’m not innocent in this, none of us are, and I have no room to judge his motives.
“I’m sorry,” I breathe.
His brows furrow. “Why?”
He’s still probing, trying to confirm that I slept with Alex, and I need to listen to my mother; she doesn’t trust him. So, I opt for a safe answer that would appease Chris and my family. “For not being the fiancée you deserved when we were back home. We can do better than an arranged marriage. Your brother helped me see that you and I need to work together if you still want to run. Can we start over?”
Chris offers a genuine smile that meets his eyes. “I love you… There isn’t anything to start over.”
If you loved me, you wouldn’t have missed our wedding because of a damn blowjob…
As much as it pains me, I have to make this work—at least for the time being. “I booked our honeymoon here so we could get to know each other better. It’s so easy to getswept up in everything when we’re in Washington—or even when we’re in Miami. Here, it’s just you and me. We can let our shields down and be ourselves.” Chris leans in to kiss me, and I stop him with my hands braced on his chest. “But I think we need this time to figure it all out, especially since you missed one of the most monumental moments of my life. I’m still hurt that you weren’t there and that you’ve been lying about your doctor appointments.”
His eyes are earnest as he sighs a laugh. “You’re absolutely right. I’ll get cleaned up, and maybe we can take a walk on the beach together?”
I nod, grateful that he’s not pushing for more. “I’d love that.”I’m in hell.
Chris presses a kiss to my forehead, and I rein in all of my negative emotions as he pulls back. “Give me twenty minutes.”
Chapter 26
Chris
I’m going about this all wrong. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that my brother fucked my wife, but it wasn’t just sex with them. I can tell Jaclyn has feelings for him, and based on how he acted while he was here, Alex is head-over-heels in love with her. In the end, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need Jaclyn toloveme; I need her tohelpme with my campaign. She needs to respect me, and that’s a hell of a lot harder to earn than love. With our nuptials public, my candidacy announcement should come sooner than later.
I’m so fucked.
A long hot shower and fresh clothes have reset me. Though, I must’ve lost weight because they fit a bit larger—that, or Jaclyn ordered the wrong sizes for me for the trip. I pull out another shirt and check the size tag. A size too big. Jaclyn knows my measurements, so it doesn’t make sense…
Alex.
With a groan, I suck it up, and wear the ill-fitting clothes. Once I’m changed, I join Jaclyn out on the patio. As I nervously open the sliding glass door, I find her on one of the lounge chairs with her laptop, talking to someone with a tinge of anger in her voice. I overhear the last of her conversation, “Take care of it.” Her growling ends as she turns at the sound of the door. “We’ll talk soon… Thank you.” Hanging up, she offers me a sweet smile, void of love. “Hi.”
“Mind if I join you?”
“Go ahead.”
Her tone is clipped, so I tread carefully. “Everything okay?”
“No, nothing is going to plan for the gala. Story of my life,” she huffs, defeated. With the event fast approaching, my best guess is that she’s arguing with a vendor. Jaclyn is meticulous when it comes to the small details of an event. I’m sure it will be beautiful with her in charge, and no one will know if things are amiss.
I take the seat next to her to enjoy the cool ocean breeze and the sun glistening off the water. It’s just the two of us, not another person in sight. One might even call it romantic. We’ve been together for years, and it’s always been nothing more than a business transaction, with our marriage sealing the deal by signing on the dotted line. Sure, she’s stunning, but we have virtually nothing in common; I’ve never met a more boring woman in my life.
Stepford wife in the flesh.
Jaclyn continues working while I marinate in the mildly uncomfortable silence. She doesn’t reach for my hand, and I don’t seek out hers. Despite our differences, she knows me better than I know myself most days, and I appreciate that she’s not pretending with me. Though for the first time, guilt seeps in—she’s always been at my side. She deserves a spouse who loves and supports her.
Am I able to give her that?
As I look out to the crashing waves, I’m lost as to what I should say. We’re supposed to spend the rest of our lives together, and the thought gives me a deep sense of dread like I’ve never experienced. Being married to someone who doesn’t love you is a special kind of torture. She’ll play the perfect part publicly, but I can’t wrap my mind around how I’m supposed to make her believe I love her, let alone have her fall in love with me.
We sit in silence for several minutes until I finally break it. “How was the wedding?” She groans. “That bad, huh?”
Finally looking at me, Jaclyn’s reply is cold. “The wedding was the best day of my life.”
“The best?” I laugh.
“What do you want me to say, Chris? That I hated it? I didn’t. Even with the shitty coordinator, the boring color palette, our mothers overstepping, Alex taking the schedule off the rails…” She sighs deeply. “You want the truth? I don’t regret speaking my vows to Alex in front of God, our friends, and family.”
