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We had an unhealthy dynamic, yet our arrangement made me feel safe. I’d always wanted to feel that way. To be looked after, to be taken care of.
I hated that part of myself. Hated that I was waiting for Edouard to come back and cuddle with me. To tell me how good I was and how well he was going to treat me.
I hated that I craved it.
I hated that I was falling for him and that I couldn’t stop it.
I hated that with time, I’d become my own addict.
Asudden blaring, low sound of a horn blasts through the speaker and I jump. Alexandre laughs, but when I turn around to scowl at him, I notice that Thurel and Robin are gone.
“I would run if I were you,” he juts his chin toward the castle. “That way.”
I hesitate. “Why do I get the feeling I’m missing half of what’s really going on here? What the hell is the Alpha Fraternarii?”
He tilts his head back and laughs. “If you’re too scared, you can always tap out. Remember the option that each participant was offered?”
I nod, recalling the earlier words that were said at the beginning of the games.
“Tonight, dear participants, you have a choice. Reshape your future and make your dreams come true, or refuse the gift we’ve left you here tonight. Both are valuable, but only one will change your life forever.”
“Well, I happen to know what your gift is,” Alexandre cocks his head, lips curled into a smirk. “I can tell you, but then I’d need to ask one of my masked brothers to eliminate you.”
I eye him warily. How does one get eliminated? “I don’t understand,” I stammer. “Why is this happening to me?”
Aleandre tips his head back and lets out a laugh. “Oh, sweetheart. I don’t know how well you know Edouard, but he is obsessed with you.”
That…my mind rattles as I try to see through the mist of my thoughts. After his sudden and shocking arrival to Saint-Laurent last September, Edouard ignored me for the most of the school year. Only… that’s not entirely true, is it? Aside from that bloody incident with Pierre, I can recall other moments his presence was tangible. My petition to organize a trip to the local church to celebrate the Armistice didn’t get the necessary votes. Still, the trip took place. Last year, my request to add European History to my current study program was declined. This year, it was approved. I got chosen to organize the monthly film nights, despite the competition, and I got… awareness flutters in my chest. I was transferred from a dorm I shared with another student, to one for my own.
“Ah, looks like it all starts to make sense now?” Alexandre smiles, his dark gaze burning into mine. Then he nudges his chin once more toward the castle. “I guess the real question is, is the affection mutual? Or would you like me to tell you the alternative of what you can have after tonight?”
I bite my lip. He’s making it tempting to listen to my brains and be the tough one for once. And yet the promise of Edouard’s presence blanketing mine in every sense of the word, warms my insides. “Who were these old men who made me sign that Non-Disclosure Agreement?” I ask.
“They are Elders,” Alexandre says.
“Elders of the brotherhood?” That sounds pretty ominous. But then, that night a few weeks ago had been pretty scary. When I’d been summoned in the South Wing and had met with two middle-aged strangers who looked to be as distinguished as the rest of the castle’s interior. Yet, I hadn’t hesitated signing that NDA, quite frankly assuming that they were part of the Beaumont Family, sent by the Dictator himself. Only, they weren’t.
Alexandre’s horse lets out a whinny and stamps into the sand, clearly impatient with our lingering conversation. “If you win, he’ll explain everything to you.”
I blink. “And if I don’t?”
He just laughs, squeezing his knees into the horse’s flank. The horse rears and lets out another loud whinny. “Come on, pretty boy, play along,” he shouts. Then they move toward me. The sudden movement has me spinning around, and I nearly fall over my own feet as I dive forward and away from them, heart thumping in my heart.
Once more tonight, I start running.
Leave the trail!
“Leave the light,” I mumble. Jumping into the bushes, I brush the meandering branches from my face and body and let my feet carry me as fast as possible.
I’m scared. The darkness, the foreign noises, the sneaking threat. I’m not alone here, I can feel it. But I have no time to turn over my shoulder, no time to check my side. I can hear the horse following me from the trail, knowing that I can’t keep hidden in the bushes. If I want to reach for the castle, I’ll need to follow the path back. Back to the bordering football field, back to the inner gardens, back to the reception hall.
The horn blazes again, and I whimper. This is not my life, I wasn’t made to be tough. I have always preferred safety, even if it meant destruction. First Maman, who even allowed me to be used as a transaction if it meant for her own financial issues to be solved, even temporarily, and then Edouard.
Edouard, who is, or who is not, waiting for me inside Monterrey Castle.
My gift, that is, or is not, waiting for me inside Monterrey Castle.
Voices shake me out of my revelry. Voices, followed by the sight of dark cloaks walking through the darkness. I can’t make out what they’re saying, their sounds smothered by the blasting noise of the horn, but I can see they’re carrying torches.
