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“Drive, Eyvar.” I don’t owe him a fucking answer. I don’t owe anyone anything.
There’s a hole in my heart and poison leeching into my soul. When Abby died, she took part of me with her—and it was just like this. Head in my lap, eyes closed, the Reaper stealing her away from me in a few short breaths.
I belong here, alone in the frozen north. Surrounded by cold and death. The lord of a castle made of ice, with no one to answer to but the elements. This is my home.
But my hand moves to the woman’s cheek, and I feel the silkiness of her skin. She doesn’t belong here. She’s too soft. Too fragile.
And unlike Abby, this woman is still alive.
Eyvar sets his jaw and puts the car in gear. He cranks the heat up as high as it’ll go, and I unzip the top of the woman’s jacket. The skin on her chest is so cold, she might as well have been walking naked out here.
My eyes drift down her body, imagining just that. I bite down on the inside of my cheek to dispel the thought. The last fucking thing I need to do is think about this woman naked. As soon as she’s awake and alert enough to speak, she has a lot to answer for. She’ll be getting on the first train back to whatever place she’s from, with strict instructions to never return.
If she has a death wish, it won’t be fulfilled here. I won’t have another soul on my conscience.
Eyvar parks the car by the security lodge. I jerk my head toward it. “Unlock the door and crank the heat. Start a fire, too.”
Eyvar’s teeth grind. He doesn’t like me being near an uncleared person. It’s a security risk, and he knows my head is a mess right now. Isn’t that the whole reason I’m at the Summer Palace? Keep me safe from the media and the masses and myself? Stay tucked away on my own, where no one can see me break down?
My tone of voice leaves no room for argument, though, and Eyvar is too well-trained to protest. He heaves his massive body out of the car and unlocks the lodge as I get out of the car and carry the woman to the building.
She’s light, as if I’m just holding a bundle of clothes. Her legs are covered in nothing more than a pair of thick tights, which is about three layers less than she needs out here.
Is this her first time in Nord? What kind of lunatic would start walking along the road to the palace in a peacoat and a fucking dress?
Anger winds its way through my core, setting everything aflame. But the woman’s eyelids flutter, and she mumbles against my neck. Her soft breath washes over my skin, easing the bite of the wind.
I don’t hate having her in my arms. As I march toward the lodge, she melts against my chest. She smells sweet, like candy. It feels good to hold her.
Too good.
I shouldn’t enjoy it. I shouldn’t want to protect her. To save her.
It’s just the gremlins of my fucked-up past, poking their ugly heads out ahead of the fourth anniversary of Abby’s death. Fate is sending this woman to me, unconscious and near death, to remind me of everything I’ve already lost.
Well, don’t worry, Fate. I remember. Every fucking day, and I know I’ll never forget.
When I kick the door closed behind me, the heat is already blasting in the lodge, and Eyvar is stoking a roaring fire. I jerk my head to the closet. “Blankets.”
Eyvar complies without a word. That’s better.
I lay the woman on a long sofa, dragging it closer to the fire. She whimpers, trying and failing to open her eyes.
“Gran…Grandm…” she whispers.
“What’s that?” I say, cupping her cheek. “What’s your name? Who are you?”
Her eyelids flutter, but her gaze is hazy. They close once again. My heart clenches. My bodyguard takes off her boots and jacket, then spreads two thick blankets over her, moving quickly and efficiently. She’s limp as we tuck her in, her eyes staying closed as her breath grows shallow.
“Radio the palace and get the doctor.” I tuck the edge of the blanket around her and touch her cheek again. I need her to be okay. I need her to live. It feels almost desperate, a sense of doom looming just beyond my consciousness. This woman can’t die. Not here. Not with me.
Not again.
Eyvar moves to the desk by the door. He presses a few buttons to turn on the radio, then grunts in frustration. I glance over to see him frowning. “Dead battery. Must have been left unplugged. Maybe a power outage.”
“Drive, then,” I say. “Get the doctor. And quick, Eyvar. She needs medical attention.”
“Your Highness, I can’t leave you here with—”
