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She nods. “No one knew until they did the autopsy.”
“I…I’m so sorry.” The world is spinning. Wolfe lost his fiancée and his first child that day? They both died in his arms. Oh, no—he never told me that. So the pain in his eyes when I told him about our baby…
“Wolfe took it hard.” Her eyes never leave mine. I try not to fidget as another bombshell is lobbed at my poor, broken soul. The Queen lets out a long breath, pinching her lips into a smile. “He almost seemed like himself these past few weeks. I thought…” The Queen shakes her head, not finishing her thought.
She pushes herself to her feet, and I scramble to stand. The Queen extends a hand to me. “I just wanted to meet you, is all,” she says. “I love the new design you’ve created. We can start the renovations in the spring, once the snow melts.”
I frown. “You still want me to finish the design?”
“You’re the best person for the job, and you’ve done most of the work already. Besides, firing you would only feed the gossip. The media team have decided not to address the controversy in the newspapers at all. Any official comment from the palace will only spur them on. I understand you’re leaving?”
I nod, a huge lump lodged in my throat. “Yes.”
“You’ll come back for the construction?”
“That depends…” My hand slides over my stomach.
Her eyes flick down to the movement, pain flashing across her face for the briefest moment.
“I’m keeping it,” I blurt out. “If I have to return during the palace construction, I’ll be eight or nine months pregnant. The media…”
“Of course. We’ll make arrangements for things to be done remotely if necessary.” The Queen walks to the door, every step graceful and measured. She turns to look at me, eyes soft. “If you need to visit the site, we’ll arrange for you to travel privately. I’m sure you’ll want to see your work when construction is finished.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty.” I drop into a curtsy as my heart hammers. The Queen walks out of the office as my ears ring.
She knows I’m carrying Wolfe’s child. Why did she tell me about Abby’s baby? Was it to make me feel bad about leaving?
…Or was it so I’d understand why Wolfe left without saying goodbye?
Sadness crushes me. I sit down because it’s too difficult to stand. Everything hurts. I feel like I’ve taken Wolfe’s child away from him after he suffered such an awful loss four years ago, but at the same time, I need to think about what’s best for me and my child.
The Queen didn’t try to convince me to stay. She didn’t tell me to chase after Wolfe and follow him to the Summer Palace. The only reason she didn’t want to fire me was because it would look bad in the media.
Telling me about the Prince’s loss wasn’t some ploy to get me to feel sorry for him. Everything she told me was in order for me to understand the position of the palace, and make sure there was the least amount of controversy possible.
I’m not part of this world. Even though I’m carrying Wolfe’s child, I’m just a satellite orbiting around him. I’ll never belong here, and the best thing for me to do is leave. I knew that yesterday, and nothing has changed. I need to go—for all of us.
Sliding my hand over my stomach, I squeeze my eyes shut and draw strength from the only thing I know is true. I’m having a baby, and I love it with all my heart.
