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Gray shrugged. "It just meant another hot shower and then cozying up in bed afterward."
What he said sounded too enticing. Overly so. It was also the first time I'd ever had this kind of conversation, which made me feel a bit uncertain. "Okay. And what else did you have in mind?"
Now that I had something warm in my stomach, I felt ready to have some fun with Gray, but he insisted on not diving right into the game. Unusual. But I understood his reasoning.
"There are rules. They've always been a given, but this time, they're even more crucial."
"Like the thing with the safe word."
"Exactly. Because 'stop' in this case wouldn't be one."
"Have you ever talked about these fantasies with anyone else?"
He tilted his head. "Do you know when I first thought of them? When I was teasing you about your taste in books."
"The Mountainmen?"
As he nodded, I couldn't help but chuckle softly. "There's a very similar scene in there," I noted, which only made him look at me seriously.
"I know. It made me realize the fantasy might not be as twisted as I initially thought."
Despite our previous discussions that nothing we were doing was sick or deserved such a label, I looked at him gently. "You know what? As long as we're having this conversation, I almost don't care which fantasy you want to play out. And what you just suggested… it's not like it doesn't cater to certain preferences of mine as well."
"So, you're on board?"
This time, I was the one who nodded. "No lasting harm. And if it starts to storm, we'll call it off. We won't stray too far from this cabin and… I was scared of the dark as a kid. So maybe it wouldn't hurt not to push that too far. And if you think I'm running a half marathon…"
Gray burst out laughing. "What else, Amelia?"
"Manhandling. That's definitely on the wish list. But only if it doesn't mean you're seriously degrading me."
"Never. We continue to stay within the limits we are both comfortable with."
"What about your desires? And no-gos? Aside from what I already know, of course," I asked, suddenly realizing that it wasn't just my wants that mattered, but his were equally important.
Gray slowly slid his hand onto his neck. Was it hard for him to say what was on his mind? I looked at him curiously, waiting. He should take the time he needed. Or was he perhaps ashamed?
"I don't think we've ever talked about it explicitly, but…"—he let out a soft sigh—“it seems like I've developed a thing forbreeding."
I bit my tongue reflexively. "You mean aside from all the creampies? Which, by the way, are only possible because you had a vasectomy at some point. No, wait—don't say anything. I think I know exactly what you mean. Can I surprise you with it? Spontaneously so it doesn't feel contrived?"
"If you ask like that, then yes, you can. Otherwise, I'd like it if you didn't make it too easy for me. Show off yourbrattyside before you give in to me."
So Gray really wanted me to act out? No, he was actually encouraging it. He demanded that I tease him. Be cheeky. Provide a challenge for him while we played this game.
"And the free-use rule still applies?"
"Of course. When I catch you, you're mine. Whatever that may entail."
Just the thought alone spread a certain warmth inside me. It was more than just anticipation; it reached much deeper than that. Having this conversation, casual and honest, showed me how simple it could be when you had someone by your side who clearly understood their role and your own. It wasn't just that; it reflected the immense trust between us, which I had initially regarded with skepticism but now knew was justified.
It might have been a strange way to get to know each other, but in hindsight, everything that had happened between Gray and me so far was more than right. Blind trust had to be earned, and if I paid attention to how secure I felt right now, how calm I was given that we were on a path that couldn't even be described as mild BDSM anymore, it clearly indicated that what Gray and I shared was lasting. Or should last, since we were still unofficial.
"What else?" I finally asked, barely able to wait any longer to get up and enter the scene we had just discussed.
"Right after, you'll get everything you need from me. Whatever it is—and I mean that exactly as I say it, Amelia. It doesn't matter what you ask for. You'll get it."
My chest tightened a bit as I realized how earnestly Gray said this to me. I stood up and went over to him, sitting on his lap and wondering why I hadn't done this sooner. "I know," I assured him, my hand on the side of his face. "When I say that I trust you completely, those aren't just empty words, Gray. And if you're still worried that I might judge you for anything or end up suffering less… just let it go. It won't happen. Because you've shown me from the start that there's nothing I should be ashamed of."
