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I can’t imagine Laila with black hair. “But everyone goes through that phase growing up, and I’m sure you weren’t the only metalhead.”
She gives her head a shake. “I didn’t have very good control of my emotions back then. It all felt too much. I liked to do things that maybe seemed young for my age. I started reading more, spending more time online. That’s where I could be real, in fandoms and chat rooms and all that. I could just let myself be free.”
“Do you feel you can do that now?”
She lets out an acidic laugh. “Are you kidding me? No.”
“Not even with me?” I have to say, I feel a little insulted.
An apologetic smile plays on her lips. She doesn’t have to answer.
She’s going through something, and you lost her trust long ago, I remind myself. Don’t make this about you.
I decide to change the subject. “And so what is your plan for the future?”
She frowns. “What do you mean?”
I gesture to the wide frozen fields that lead out to the dark fjord, the mountains towering above, the red, yellow, and white houses dotted across the landscape. We’re walking in a damn painting.
“Will you ever make this your home again?”
She rubs her lips together in thought, and I’m astounded by how beautiful she is, as tends to happen when I’m with her. It always hits like lightning.
“I want to, one day,” she says. “With Peter taking care of it and the neighbors keeping an eye on it, I know it’s in good hands. I can just focus on my life in Oslo, working, and then maybe if I have enough money saved, I’ll come up here. Or, hell, maybe I’ll get a job somewhere in town. Do something online. Start a business. I don’t know.”
Even though I know it’s good she’s feeling optimistic about the future, that there are possibilities, it bothers me that I’m not in any of those scenarios.
“I think that’s smart,” I tell her. “To know you’ll come back, sooner rather than later.” I clear my throat. “So you don’t see yourself working for royals forever?”
“Nah,” she says. “It’s been fun. I’ve enjoyed my jobs. I enjoy being with kids. But now everything seems turned on its head. The life plan I thought I had, however feeble it was—I feel like there’s been a major course correction. Which is scary, but…I’m realizing how important home is. I don’t want to realize it too late.”
“Makes sense.”
“And you?” she asks.
“Me, what? My plan?”
“Could you see yourself living somewhere like this?”
“Somewhere like this? Or this place in particular?”
What exactly are you asking me, Laila?
“Okay. Somewhere like this.”
Hmmm. Can’t help but feel a little disappointed that she wasn’t talking about this town. Guess I was getting ahead of myself.
“It depends,” I say. “Am I here alone? Am I here with someone special? Am I here because I’m hoping to catch the eye of a pretty blond girl with the world’s loudest laugh?”
She nearly laughs at that but clamps her lips shut. “Right,” she eventually says.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I never thought about it until now.”
“Because you’re a city boy through and through.”
“That’s true. I have been. But we don’t always remain the same through life, do we? And since I started working for Magnus, I’ve actually gotten used to living in the middle of nowhere. I’ve come to peace with it. In fact I think it actually brings me peace, believe it or not. And if you had told me that last year, I would have said you were crazy.”
Laila is actually looking at me like I’m crazy right now. “Call me shocked.”
