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He sat back in his seat, releasing a puff of air. “Never been married. Have never wanted to be married.”
Relief thawed the tightness in my belly. The last thing I wanted to be was a homewrecking floozy. Just a floozy I could live with, but I would never sleep with a married man. My mother would tell me to spit in her face before doing that.
“All right. Why would you think I am? After everything…” I shook my head, trying hard not to be insulted but failing miserably.
“Not a personal judgment, sweetness,” Jake said coolly. “Just thinking about you heading all the way out of town to hook up. Maybe you have a reason for that.”
Oh, now I wasn’t just insulted; I was getting pissed at his double standards.
“Once a month, I take my bike out on a long drive. I’ve been doing this since I reached adulthood. It has nothing to do with the desire to hook up in secret and everything to do with the need to be on the open road.” I lowered my chin, leveling him with my stare. “The hookup being out of town is a bonus.”
He rubbed his thick stubble, contemplating me.
“Why? You don’t have hookups stashed around the city?”
I snorted a laugh. Oh, how little he knew about me. “Contrary to the current situation, I don’t bring men around her.” I nodded toward Nellie, who was trying to feed a chicken nugget to her toy. “I don’t advertise being a mother.”
Since my dating was purely hypothetical, I should have said I wouldn’t do those things. Jake was the first man I’d been with since the divorce, and what we did wasn’t anything like dating.
“Gotta admit, Clara, seeing you today shocked the hell out of me, but finding out you have a kid didn’t. I admire your not bringing men around her. Smart choice.”
I flinched at his off-handed comment. “You could tell I’m a mother?”
Of course he could. Being Nellie’s mother was worth everything, including sacrificing my former body, but damn if it wasn’t a blow to my wobbly self-esteem to know this beautiful man had taken a look at me and read my story in the lines and scars I now carried.
“You’re thinking too much,” he accused gruffly. “What I’m saying is, I’m no expert, but I’ve been around long enough to know that scar just below your pretty, lacy”—he mouthed panties—“is from a C-section. Me noticing it and bringing it up now is by no means a judgment, just a fact.”
I didn’t know what to say, but that was okay because Jake wasn’t done. Leaning into me, he brought his mouth next to my ear. “And I think you already know I have no complaints about what you have going on under your leathers.”
He pulled back enough for his eyes to dart between mine. “Nod if you hear me.”
I nodded.
We weren’t in our bar or hotel room, but he’d managed to put me under his spell where I liked to do what he told me.
He reached under the table to squeeze my bare knee. “Good girl, Clara. Turn that busy mind off when we’re having a friendly conversation. I’m not one to have ulterior motives.”
“No?” Regaining some of my equilibrium and a smidge of the confidence I normally had with him, I arched a brow. “Then what are you doing right now?”
“Having dinner with a gorgeous woman and her cute kid, what else?”
Nellie’s head shot up. “What’s gaw-juss?”
“For a second, I forgot she hears everything,” I murmured, making Jake chuckle. Before I could explain, he took over.
“Look at your mom,” he ordered softly.
Nellie peered at me with squinty eyes. “I see her.”
“See how pretty she is?”
She nodded so hard her hair went flying.
“Pretty isn’t a big enough word, though. She’s much more than pretty. She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?”
My little girl put her chin on both fists and scrunched her nose as she examined me. “Mommy, you’re gaw-juss.”
God, this kid of mine. She regularly reminded me about the beauty of life in her observations of the world, but she didn’t often turn them on me. Never mind Jake teaching her that word. I couldn’t even focus on that right now. Otherwise, I’d do something stupid like burst out crying or ask him on a date.
