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I nodded. I couldn’t deny it. “Absolutely.”
Shira wasn’t a big talker, but she seemed determined to get this out. If it was important for her to say, I would listen, even if I didn’t exactly want to hear it.
“You never stopped being terrified of having your heart broken again, did you?”
Pressing my lips together, I shook my head. At the very root of me, I carried a deep-seated fear I’d end up back in the dark place Miller had left me, and I couldn’t go back there. Not with Nellie. I had to stay in the light for her.
Shira’s big eyes were so gentle, steady on me as she imparted her thoughts. “If you let Jake go now, it’s safer for you. That doesn’t mean it’s the wrong decision, but if you’re choosing it because of that, I think it is.”
I fell back against my chair’s cushions. She might as well have taken a look inside me and mapped my neuroses out for me to clearly see. There was no question she was right. I might not have been aware of what I was doing, but I’d certainly allowed two weeks to go by because it was safer than facing what might happen if I confronted Jake head-on.
Bea held up her glass. “Yes. Shira put it much better and more kind than me. I agree with everything she said.”
I looked up at the stars twinkling above me. “So, I have to decide if I can move on from this.”
“Oh, you can,” Bea said with assurance. “Whether you move on with Jake or on your own is what’s up in the air. Do you want my vote?”
I rolled my wrist. “Sure. Why not?”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this since I would tell you to walk away from ninety-nine percent of the men on this planet, but Jake…he adores you, Clara. And he’s so sweet with Nellie. I can’t, in good conscience, advise you not to at least have a meaningful conversation with him.”
I blinked at my friend, who regularly chewed men up and spit them out. Not necessarily men she dated, but random guys on the street who tried to talk to her—which happened at a surprising frequency.
“You’ve gone soft,” I said.
“Don’t say that.” Bea’s nose crinkled. “It’s the influence of the two of you. You know that, right?”
Shira let out a tinkling laugh. “Well, you’ve toughened me up a little.”
Bea’s brow arched. “Have I?”
Shira’s cheeks pinkened. “You’ve made me want to be tougher. And for what it’s worth, Clara, I love you with Jake. What he did was a betrayal, but I don’t think it’s unforgivable.” Her long lashes lowered to brush her cheeks. “Then again, I haven’t been through what you have.”
“I hear you,” I whispered. “I’m still scared.”
Bea kicked my chair. “But you’re a badass, Clara Rossi. You ride a motorcycle and make grown men cry.”
“That happened once.” I laughed through my welling tears. “I’m going to talk to him.”
Bea tapped her chin, her eyes sweeping over me. “When?”
“I don’t know. Soon.”
Her eyes flared. “Soon could be next month, knowing you and how you overthink everything. Give yourself a deadline.”
“By tomorrow,” Shira added. “End of the day.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “What if I’m not ready?”
Bea put her finger to her lips. “Shhh. We’re not humoring you anymore.”
“Is this tough love?” I turned to Shira. “You too?”
Shira gave me her meanest look, which was not very mean at all. “End of the day tomorrow…or else.”
I tried not to let the churning fear in my belly surface. My friends were right to push me. They’d done it when I’d needed it in the past, and I’d needed it even more now.
“All right. I’ll contact him by the end of the day tomorrow.”
