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I wanted to tell him if he gave us names, we’d go to the principal. I’d contact their parents. And if that didn’t work, I would set about destroying their families piece by piece. But his shoulders were overburdened enough. He couldn’t bear my anger, righteous or not.
“We’ll find a way where that doesn’t happen,” Daisy said.
Reed lifted his head, his glazed eyes distant and unfocused. “I wanted to think about Quinn today. I wondered if she felt this…exhaustion from life that day. I wanted to look down at the shallow water and contemplate why that had been a better choice than staying and facing another day, another week—hell, two years of more of the same.”
He turned to Daisy. “I got it. The consequences of making that jump had looked better than whatever had waited for her if she hadn’t.”
“Reed,” Daisy choked out, devastation blooming from her like funeral flowers.
“I don’t wanna die, but I don’t wanna be here anymore either.” Reed crammed the heel of his palm against his forehead. “Mama says to ride it out, and I tried, I really did, but I can’t do it. I can’t get up from here knowing I’ve got three more years of people hating me for nothing I’ve done.”
“She doesn’t get it, baby,” Daisy murmured. “Neither of them do. That doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They just don’t understand how bad it is.”
He drew in a shaky breath. “I know. Dad has been in his own world his whole life. And Mama didn’t grow up a Dunham. If she had, she never would have given you the initials ‘DED.’ It’s like she put a ‘kick me’ sign on you.”
Daisy put her head on her brother’s shoulder. “I understand. Trust me, I do.”
Reed grew quiet. I barely breathed while I waited for him to speak. I wished I knew what to do, how to handle this. My mind was stuck on committing violence. That wouldn’t help Reed, though, and it would only make me feel better temporarily.
Reed inhaled sharply. “Do you think Quinn was scared?”
“Yeah. I think she was probably scared way before she stepped foot on this bridge,” Daisy replied.
They were breaking my heart, these two. All I could do was be here, steady for them, while they faced down their sister’s tragedy, and count my lucky stars Reed hadn’t gone the same way. But he was on the edge. If today hadn’t proven that, I didn’t know what would. Something big had to be done. A change had to be made. This…misery was un-fucking-tenable.
“I’m scared,” he admitted.
She nodded. “I am too.”
He exhaled a long, exhausted breath and let his head fall on top of hers. “I don’t know what to do, Daze.”
“Listen to me, Reed.” She took his hand and held it against her cheek. “I promise you the solution will not be to ride it out. If you figure out a way to get up, we’ll take you home and talk until we have a plan.”
I squeezed Reed’s shoulder. “If you let me, I’ll be there to help. Plans are my thing.”
“Okay.” He picked his head up and turned to me. “How much trouble do you think I’m going to be in?”
I gave his cheek a pat. “None. This is probably the one time you’ll get off scot-free for scaring the shit out of your family. Everyone’s going to be too relieved you’re in one piece to be angry.”
“I didn’t mean to scare them.”
“I know you didn’t,” I told him. “You’re a good guy. We all know that.”
“I needed to think about Quinny. About her last day. That’s all.”
“Did you get enough thinking done? Are you ready to go home? I’m sure Sol’s bladder’s about to burst. You’re gonna have to take him for a walk as soon as we get there.”
A concrete task lit him up and gave him a reason to move his body. His climb was slow, but he got to his feet with Daisy bracing him. I grabbed his backpack and bag of trash, then I threw my arm around his shoulders.
“You’re important to a lot of people, kid.” I didn’t recognize the gruffness of my voice, thick with fear and myriad emotions I couldn’t name. “Including me. Next time you need to think about Quinny, or anything, let me know.”
He nodded. “I will.”
Daisy squeezed him from the other side. “Let’s go home.”
Chapter Forty-one
Daisy
