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“I love it.” I don’t mention the baby shoes because we both understand its meaning.
The next one is a little bigger and feels like a globe as I remove it from the box. It’s a clear ornament with the number seventeen painted on it. “Seventeen?”
“Look on the back.”
Seventeen years together and counting.
Love, Dane
I squeeze his neck and kiss him on the cheek. “To infinity and beyond.” It was the summer before first grade when I was placed in my grandparents' care, seventeen years ago. The year my life changed for the better.
The last one is heavy. It’s in a decorative box instead of being wrapped. Dane’s knee is bouncing. “I hope you like this.”
I take the top off, and a large geode is packed firmly inside. It’s purple with varying shades of gray twinkling at me. He holds the box while I pull it from its protective covering.
“Dane, this is gorgeous. Mesmerizing.”
“It’s in memory of our baby.” He chokes up, then gives himself a moment. He pulls the paper out of the bottom of the box. “This geode represents a star we get to name. I want our baby to know we loved him or her. I want to name the star together.”
At this point, his mom and my grandparents are tearing up while I’m blubbering at his thoughtfulness and how much he thinks about our baby that he didn’t know existed until after I had miscarried.
“Lettie, what do you want to name our baby and star?” he asks as his voice cracks.
Resting my head in the crook of his neck, I say, “Do you like Alex? That could be a boy or a girl?”
“It’s perfect.” He presses his lips to my forehead. “We have to fill this out and send it in certified mail to the space agency.”
“I love you.” It comes out as more than best friends because we are more. And although I’m sad he didn’t propose and that I must have misunderstood Granny, I know we have a deeper love than most married couples.
“I love you and Alex. You’ve always been the center of my universe, and you always say I’m your rock, so it’s the perfect gift.”
We stare at each other so long, Paps must get uncomfortable because he says,
“Okay, kiddos, go practice. I know you’re dying to sing.”
“Love you, Grans and Paps. As always, I’m stuffed.” Dane hugs them goodbye. “Mom, you coming?”
“No, I’m going to your aunt’s house for a while.”
Dane and I rush out and enter his house through the basement door. There’s a little stage that’s never been there before. “Wow, this is nice.”
“I thought we needed all the help we could get. I’m nervous. I can play basketball in front of fifty thousand people but singing in front of that size crowd is terrifying.”
I’m so proud of him, admitting his fears. “We can do anything together.”
“Let’s hope I don’t faint. The boys would never let me live that down. I can hear Reed now. ‘I get slammed into the boards, bruised ribs, and you’re scared of singing.’ And Logan, ‘I literally get trucked by lean, mean linebackers every game, basketballers are weak.’”
Surrounding his waist with my arms, I look up into his chocolate-brown eyes. “You’re the strongest person I know, the most talented, and the most thoughtful. Thank you for loving me and Alex.” For a moment, the air crackles, and my stomach flips and flops. He’s looking at my lips, and I think he’s going to kiss me, but he’s not. If I don’t share my feelings, I’m not following my own path of wanting to be completely honest, so I murmur, “Kiss me, please.”
A shy smile slides slowly across his face like he’s been waiting this whole time to hear those words. He floats his thumb over my lips, back and forth. His eyes flash to mine. “Are you ready? Once I kiss you—really kiss you—I can’t go back.”
“I’m ready. We’re ready.”
He bends down and presses his lips to mine. His lips are firm and soft with a hint of sugar from the apple pie. I feel his heartbeat pulsing as he takes his time tasting my lips. I’ve loved this man since I was six. It wasn’t the couple’s kind; it was the kind of love that made me feel safe and loved at a time when I didn’t feel loved by my parents. It was as if he took it upon himself to fill me with more love than is humanly possible, and he did.
As the kiss intensifies, his hands remain on my face. Then he breaks the kiss and says, “That was our second first kiss.”
Correcting him, I say, “Third first kiss. Timber Thrills, the fundraiser, and now.”
