AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I scoff, “No, thanks.”
“Don’t act like you don’t love Heartland. You watched every single episode with me.” She tilts her head in the cutest way, squinting her eyes with a close-lipped smile.
Yep, she’s clueless.
I watched her while she watched Heartland. Did I know what was going on? Yes, because I wanted to know every little thing that made Lettie happy or sad. The way she would squeeze my thigh when a character did something she considered “swoony.” The way she would lay her head on my shoulder when a character made her cry.
“Wish I could, but I have to work on a speech for my dad’s fundraiser.”
She leans over, pecking my cheek. “Okay, but I’m on the episode when Ty kisses Amy for the first time.”
“It’s probably your tenth time watching it.”
“Yeah but the first kiss is special. The kind that gives you hope.”
I blurt out, “Is that how your first kiss with Nick was? The kind that makes you hope for more?”
Am I jealous of Nick?
Damn straight, I am. He’s taking my time. Before Nick, she hooked up like me. Never dated. We didn’t talk about other guys or girls. We just talked about everything else. Staying up all night, asking Siri stupid damn questions, talking about sports, friends and their boyfriend and girlfriend problems, and promising we would never be jealous over this or angry over that. It’s always been Lettie and me first, until Nick.
Her chest inflates, and the air gets heavy. We never talk about the details of our sex lives. We both just assume that’s what happens. What Lettie doesn’t know is that I’ve quit having sex with other girls. I’m tired of pretending it’s her face. That it’s her warm flesh tightening around me and her nails digging in my back.
God, I’m completely fucked.
“Dane, why are you asking?”
I swallow the lump clogging my airway. “I just want to know if my best friend is getting serious with my teammate.”
“Nick’s your friend.”
“Yeah, I guess. Forget I asked. It’s none of my business.”
She reaches over the console and intertwines her fingers with mine. “No one will ever come between us. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. Even when you go to the NBA, I’ll be calling you after every game.”
Shaking my head, I say, “It’s just that we started our senior year this week. Time is passing too fast. In ten months, we’ll be living in different places.” Imagining a life without Lettie by me every fucking second produces a churn in my gut.
“So, let’s make this the best year ever.”
How can it be the best year ever when she’s dating my teammate?
I give her hand a few pumps. Her hand is so small inside mine, like I’m the outside shell, protecting the pearl inside.
“Deal. I’ll pick you up on the way to the stadium tomorrow morning.”
Lettie’s eyes soften, but I see confusion swirling in them.
“Dane, you need to let Nick pick me up. He’s my date. I already feel like he’s wondering about us. And I want to have experiences in college.”
“How many more fucking experiences can you have, Lettie? Devon. James. Tyler. And all the other fucks.” I want to stuff my words back into my mouth immediately. I’m just so confused, thinking she would pick up on my feelings. We’re usually so in tune.
She jerks her hand from mine. “What the hell are you saying? Like you haven’t hooked up with a million girls?”
“I didn’t…”
“You think it’s fine for men to have casual sex and not women?” Her voice strains and cracks. “And I want more out of life than one-night stands. But you… you…”
“I what?”
