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She tilts her head and even upside down, she’s beautiful, with the blue sky as her canvas. I have to get these feelings under control because the one thing I can’t live without is a person, and it’s Lettie. Ruining our friendship over “urges” as my dad calls them is not an option.
My dad’s words run through my head as our log makes its way to the top. Earlier in the summer, I told my dad I was confused over my thoughts about Lettie. And when I called him to see if I could get out of attending the campaign event last night, he made it seem like Lettie would never see me as a boyfriend, but the one word that stuck in my head is suitable.
“You’re confusing your friendship with love. Romantic love is different. It’s where you can’t wait to rip each other’s clothes off. Lettie doesn’t see you that way. I don’t mind you tasting all of the flavors but soon, you need to find a suitable partner in life before the NBA. I love Lettie… I do, but you’re confusing history and friendship with love.”
Who’s more suitable for me than Lettie? She could care less if I become a professional basketball player, more interested in having fun, late-night texts, and early morning memes.
The log does a nosedive, and my body propels forward. My hands reach to brace myself and end up around Lettie’s bare waist. It feels like an electrical burn as my thumbs swipe over his silken skin. In that split second, I feel her sigh and imagine her moaning at my touch, but the fire extinguishes quickly when sheets of water rain down on us. She touches my hand softly, cackling, and it feels like sunshine.
As we exit the ride, all the guys notice the girls’ pebbled nipples through their bathing suits. Lips are being licked and dicks are thinking about getting wet. How do I know? Because I’m a guy, and I live with these guys. Well, they can dip their sticks somewhere else. Lettie is off limits.
I hang my arms over Hannah and Lettie, guiding them to the giant water slide. The rest of the team files in behind us and up the steps to wait our turn.
“I’m scared,” Hannah says to Dane with wide eyes.
The imposing candy-striped structure looms in front of us, the tallest slide this side of the Mississippi. Its steep incline defies the laws of gravity, and it’s not for the faint of heart. As we climb the stairs to the top, my heart races with both fear and excitement as the rest of the team files in behind us.
Looking down, I can't help but wonder if it's possible to plummet to my doom with the angle being so slight.
“Just do what they say. Cross your ankles and cross your arms over your chest and don’t raise up.” I bump against her. “You got this.”
Hannah shakes her head.
Lettie says, “I’ll go first, and Dane can go after Hannah, so he can reassure you. He’s good at making people feel good.” She gives Hannah a hug, not upset at all about me winning Hannah a stuffed squirrel. “And I’ll jump up and down when you get to the bottom.”
“Okay,” she says as she straightens her spine and takes a deep breath.
“Here goes.” Lettie lies on the candy-striped slide, and her body glides over the small hump before her feet dive, and she yells all of the way down.
She better wait on Hannah. Lettie can’t sit still so she has always run from ride to ride at every county fair. Her ADHD gets worse when she’s having fun. In the confusion this morning, I had forgotten to ask if she had taken her medicine.
The first time I asked her why she doesn’t take it on the weekends, she said, “Because I never want to forget who I really am.”
I still think about it. What would it feel like to take medicine and be someone your body doesn’t want to be? Fighting against yourself.
Hannah is shaking, so I put my palms on her shoulders. “I’m right behind you.”
She slides with her eyes closed tightly and thirty seconds later, I skid to a stop at the bottom, Hannah’s smile extends from ear to ear. “I did it. I did it.” She jumps into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist. Instead of relishing a woman’s center grazing me, I glance at Lettie.
Chapter Seven
LETTIE
Our eyes collide while Hannah’s legs are wrapped around him.
Why is he looking at me while holding another girl in his arms? And why can’t I look away? Why does it hurt?
One day, it’s going to be too late to tell him how I feel. He’ll have a perfect, sweet as sugar partner to walk through life with him, and where does that leave me?
Nowhere.
Until recently, I hadn’t thought of him leaving for the NBA as a negative. I only imagined Dane playing professional but now, I realize I’ll be a distant memory. Our calls will get fewer and farther between. It won’t matter how much we care about each other or how many cherished memories we have, his girlfriend or wife won’t understand.
I fight the lump in my throat as Devon comes to my rescue. “You need to dump Nick and give me a second chance.”
“We’re just hanging out.”
Devon grins. “So, does that mean I have a shot?”
