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“That’s why I said I’m a bad person, Bhai Sa,” I replied ruefully. “Dadi Sa might still be with us if I hadn’t been so rude to the Solanki woman, but instead of feeling guilty, I feel… free!”
“I don’t get it, Isha. If you hated it so much, why did you go along with her plans to marry you off?” he asked thoughtfully. “All you had to do was say no, and I would have backed you up.”
I sighed again. Even more heavily, this time.
“If I tell you, you’ll think less of me, Bhai Sa.”
My brother put his arm around my shoulders and led me to the car waiting for us.
“I could never think less of you, Isha,” he promised.
“Well, I did it all for Gulab Mahal,” I confessed as I settled into the back seat.
Bhai Sa’s brows creased in confusion as he stared at me.
“Gulab Banna’s house?”
Gulab Banna was our father’s younger brother, Prince Gulab Singh Shekhawat.
Unlike the palatial Trikhera Palace, Gulab Mahal was a haveli. Small, but beautiful with a gorgeous rose garden and a lily pond, it was my idea of heaven. But it wasn’t always the rosy haven it was now.
When my grandfather banished his younger son to live there because he wouldn’t conform to his macho expectations - Gulab Banna wanted to design clothes and jewellery - the place was a dump. My uncle invested a lot of time, money and effort into renovating it.
Gulab Mahal was a showcase for Gulab Banna’s exquisite taste and creativity. A taste that he passed onto me. It was featured in numerous architecture and decor magazines. But more than anything, the haveli was a home. My home.
Gulab Banna was the father that I deserved but never had. While Baba Sa was a domineering asshole, my uncle was tender, loving and supportive of everything I wanted to do. While Baba Sa only saw me through the lens of disappointment because I wasn’t the typical Rajput princess, Gulab Banna saw past my chubby exterior and appreciated and loved me for what I was. While Baba Sa put me on strict diets that left me feeling weak and ugly, Gulab Banna fed me with his own hands.
If it hadn’t been for the love and support of Ma and Gulab Banna, I would have been a shadow of the woman I had grown up to be, and it was only right that I carried on the legacy of independence that Gulab Mahal embodied.
The house had been my haven, my safe place, and now, it was going to be my salvation.
While I had finally given up on my dreams of true love, I longed for the peace I felt only in that house. Gulab Mahal had always felt like my place. As if I had lived there in another life, even though I knew that was just a figment of my imagination, and perhaps, a projection of my love for the house.
Gulab Banna had always wanted me to inherit the house, but he had died of a sudden heart attack five years ago before he could change his original will which left everything to his mother. And Dadi Sa, being the snake that she was, had held it over my head ever since, using it as a bribe to force me to do her bidding.
“Dadi Sa promised to give me the house outright if I agreed to settle down. Gulab Mahal was to be my wedding gift,” I said softly, and my brother shook his head in disgust.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Isha? I would have put a stop to her scheming.”
“You know as well as I do that she’d have sold the house just to spite us, Bhai Sa. I didn’t want to risk it. And marriage was a small price to pay for my dream house.”
“Are you crazy? It’s far too high a price if you end up marrying the wrong guy.”
“That’s all very well for you to say. You married the love of your life. Not all of us have that privilege,” I said lightly. “The rest of us have to settle for the best we can get, with perks like the house of your dreams to ease the pain.”
I knew it made me sound very materialistic, but our marriages had always been dynastic ones. Very few people had the good fortune to marry for love like Bhai Sa, who had married my best friend, Diya. Just as I had always known that he was fated to marry Diya, I also knew that I was fated to be single forever if I held out for a love match because men couldn’t look beyond my size. I refused to set myself up for heartbreak ever again.
Besides, unlike them, I was practical. I knew that you didn’t need love to be happy in life. What you needed was stability and a sense of belonging. And the only place I belonged was Gulab Mahal.
“Stop putting yourself down, Isha,” snapped Bhai Sa. “There’s no reason why you shouldn’t marry for love.”
Was he blind or just clueless, I wondered with a disbelieving look.
“Falling in love needs two people, Bhai Sa. And you might be blind to my weight issues, but trust me, the rest of the world isn’t,” I said bitterly.
He sighed as he ran a gentle hand over my head.
“I wish I could go back and destroy all the assholes who hurt you. And I wish you could see yourself through the eyes of the people who love you. You’re beautiful in a way that has nothing to do with your shape or size.”
