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How could she not?
“You screwed up. Not only did you lie to Kali, you dropped a bomb in her lap. She’s going to need time. But this? This isn’t fixing anything.” She opens her arms out wide. It’s the first time I’ve actually opened my eyes and seen how bad my place looks. Drawers are still wide open from when they searched the place, papers on the ground, trash dumped over. “Have you even taken a shower in a week? ’Cause it smells in here.” Her nose wrinkles.
Just having to think about when the last time was means it’s been too long.
“Don’t lose yourself in this mess, Paxton. Kali needs to see you’re worth fighting for.”
I nod, letting her words sink in. She’s right. If Kali were to come walking in right now, I’d be mortified. This isn’t the man she was falling for. I roll my shoulders and stand up. All my senses are revving back to life.
I get a whiff of myself.
Yeah. Let’s start with a shower.
CHAPTER 29
Kali
“Still haven’t talked to him?” Amy asks, helping me put away some of my new dishes.
Today is move-in day. The apartment building is booming with laughter, excitement, and moving boxes lined up and down the hallways. Multiple people have peeked in as they passed my room and said a quick hi. I’m anxious about meeting my roommate. We’ve only talked through texts to tell each other what we’re bringing to the apartment, so we don’t have a lot of doubles.
I shake my head and sigh, irritated with myself that I’m letting a broken heart ruin the moment. I’ve wanted this for so long.
I’m going to college!
When I told her and Ted what happened when I got home that night, Ted told me he could help me find out what happened with my parents’ accident. I didn’t want to find out, but I needed to. I owed it to Paxton to learn the truth. We both lost a lot from that accident.
When I allowed myself to think about it, I already knew what the report was going to say. Why would he lie to me, knowing I could debunk his story? All it took was a simple request to see the accident report, and I had my answer. I’ve wanted to call him and tell him, but something deep down is stopping me. It’s been two weeks since we talked.
“I think it’s better that you don’t,” Ted says in his stern voice, dropping the last box on the kitchen table. “I don’t like that he lied to you.”
That makes two of us. At least about the lying part. The other part is where the lines blur. I’m mad at him for lying to me, but I also miss him—the way he touches my hair, his chaste kisses when I least expect it, and when he calls me Kalico. I won’t believe that he’s the person who hurt me, but until he’s cleared, it’s best that we take a break.
Two hours later, I can’t stop staring at my room. This is my freaking room!
When Amy asked me what theme or colors I wanted for my room, I stared at her like she had two heads. It never occurred to me I should decorate my room, and even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know where to start. I’m used to ragged, mismatched old furniture. She told me to leave it up to her, asking me only for the colors that I liked. There was a bedspread that I found while out shopping that was turquoise, gray, and white, so she planned the entire room around that. I’ve never been a girly girl. In fact, I can count on my hands the number of times I wore a dress outside work, but this room makes me want to go put a dress on.
“I love it!” I wrap my arms around Amy’s shoulders, staring at the room over her shoulders. There’s a fuzzy white rug on the floor, with matching pillows on the bed. The artwork on the walls ties in all the colors of the room. “It’s amazing,” I whisper.
“I figured you didn’t want a yellow room,” she teases.
“I would’ve loved it too. And it would have reminded me of you.”
Her eyes soften. “I expect you to keep in touch with us. Tell us how class is going. And you’re welcome to the ranch anytime.”
Ted comes over and wraps his arm around my shoulder. “And if you ever feel in danger or need help, you call me immediately. I’ll be here as fast as I can.”
This. I’m going to miss this so much.
With a tearful goodbye, they wish me well on my exciting journey.
I’ve kept the front door open because I’m enjoying meeting my neighbors. And it seems to be the thing to do. Two girls from across the hallway brought me cookies already. In the five years I lived in my apartment, my neighbors kept to themselves, and no one ever made me food. But this is college, I keep telling myself. It’s different. Being social is part of the deal. That’s the part that might be the biggest change for me.
I just sat down with my new laptop when I hear a voice. “Please tell me you like pineapple on your pizza and Dr Pepper.” A woman breezes into the apartment, balancing two boxes. One covers her face. She drops them in the entry and blows out a breath before I can offer to help. A petite platinum blonde with lively eyes greets me. She’s wearing blue scrubs. “Also, I don’t do messes or crying. Please don’t be a crier. I get my fill of tears at work.”
I stare at her, first wondering if she’s my roommate, and then blink, thinking, am I a crier? Sure, I’ve cried a lot in the past three months, but I had a reason for every tear that fell from my eyes. When I conclude I am not a normal crier, I reply, “No, to the pineapple…” Because, gross. “Yes to the Dr Pepper, I’m a tidy person, and crying isn’t my thing.”
She claps her hands twice as if she just won a prize and then walks over to me, her hand stretched out. “That just means more pizza for me. I’m Zoe.”
