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Did I really just say that?
She laughs, breaking up the awkward buzzing in my mind.
“Yes. Yes, you did. I’m Beatrice and this is David.” She gestures to him. He smiles as he joins us and stands by his wife, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He’s taller than I expected. Much taller than her. And me.
“Hi. I’m Aspen.” I blow out a shaky breath. “Wow, this is weird,” I blurt out, staring at the two people in front of me. They made me. I wondered if there would be some sort of natural connection, but staring at them, they are complete strangers. It’s more when she talks that I’m pulled in.
“It is,” he says, looking between his wife and me. “But hell, weird or not, I’m happy to see you, kid.”
Beatrice’s body shakes, and she lunges toward me, wrapping her arms around me. After the surprise shift, I relax into her warm embrace and hug her back. Silent tears find their way down my cheeks. Time stands still. Nothing seems to exist except the fact that I’m in my mother’s arms. I’ve longed for this my entire life.
“I’m so sorry,” she repeats over and over, her voice a whisper washing over me like a protective blanket. Except it’s suffocating. I’ve tried not to think about how a one-year-old child was taken from her parents. I’ve tried not to wonder if they deserved what happened because they couldn’t protect me.
But the vicious questions have invaded my dreams the last few nights. I don’t want the built-up animosity in my head to ruin what I want in my heart.
I pull out of her arms to take a breath and wipe the tears off my cheeks with my fingers. My eyes jump from hers to Halli.
Help.
She does a sharp nod, and with no hesitation, grabs my hand. “Mr. and Mrs. Malone, we’re going to take a break.” My gaze drops to the floor with guilt.
“It’s okay, Aspen,” David says, with a naturally commanding voice with sympathetic undertones.
As soon as we’re outside, I drop her hand and stare up to the sky. It’s easier to breathe out here. Re-collect my thoughts. Minutes of silence pass before she says, “You okay?”
“I was doing okay until she kept apologizing.” I walk over to the porch swing and sit, pushing off with my boot. Halli leans up against a rail, putting her hands in her pockets. “Her apologies evoke feelings I don’t want to have. Negative feelings.” Halli opens her mouth to say something, but I add quickly, “But I understand why she was saying it.”
“Did you know she wrote a book after they lost you?” I shake my head. The quick internet searches was mainly to see pictures of them. I’m still learning on how to do searches. “I suggest reading it to understand what happened and the emotional and mental turmoil they went through. It’ll help you get a better picture. I have a copy for you when you’re ready to read it.”
I smile at my new friend. “You think of everything, don’t you?”
“I try.” I love that she’s not bashful at all. “I’ll let you have a couple minutes alone.”
“Halli.” She stops and glances over her shoulder. “Thank you for being here for me.”
The door opens again minutes later and David steps out to the patio. His perfectly-styled gray hair makes me wonder what color it was before. He waits for an invitation before continuing. I tilt my head to the empty spot next to me. His smile widens, and he takes two large steps to the swing. It creaks when he sits down and he clasps his hand in his lap, twirling his thumbs. His feet are flat on the ground so he pushes us at a slow, steady swing so I pull my feet up under me.
“I hope I didn’t offend either of you by leaving,” I offer.
With a gentle tone, he replies, “This is difficult for all parties involved. Beatrice is trying her hardest to contain her emotions, she let them get away from her.”
I wring my hands in my lap. There is so much I want to say, yet it never seems like the right time. We need to get over this awkward bump to move on.
“Can I be honest with you?”
I can’t stop the laugh that slips out of my mouth. “I wish everyone would.”
“It will take a lot of patience from both sides. I’ll try to reign her in when she’s smothering you, but I can’t make any promises.” He chuckles, making my lips curl up. He drops his head and fiddles with his wedding ring. I watch him spin it around his finger. “How was life on the island?”
“Simple.” The word slips off my tongue with no thought. It’s funny how life spinning out of control puts things in perspective. My prison was at least stable.
His gaze looks out to the pasture. “I tried the simple life. Back when I graduated college, I moved to St. Thomas. Thought living off the money I earned from doing dive tours and enjoying the island life was for me.” I turn in my seat, surprised. Nothing in his demeanor says laid back. He exudes and talks with authority and I can already tell he commands attention as soon as he walks in a room.
“How long did you stay?”
He tugs on his ear, trying to hide his grin. “Two months.” I laugh that he’s embarrassed. Although, it doesn’t surprise me. “Hey, don’t laugh.” He nudges me with his shoulder. “I thought I was meant for simple. I found out I wasn’t. And so started my political path.”
“That’s a big leap.”
