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The tears have dried, but the despair still lurks. Between feeling anxious and worried that my actual parents won’t like me and now finding out that my life will never be mine again, I’ve had to stop myself from trying to find my father to hide me again. I shake the ridiculous thought from my mind. That will never happen.
“Come in,” I say, at the soft knock at the door. The door opens and Halli walks in wearing bright turquoise silk pajamas. Her white-blond hair is loose, falling halfway down her back. She looks like a totally different person. Younger.
“Are you doing okay?” The bed dips where she sits.
“This is all so heavy and I feel alone,” I admit, rolling to my side to face her. “I’ve lost the man I called my father. I’ve lost the man I had major feelings for. And now there’s no one left.”
“If it helps, you have me.”
I sigh. “That’s another part of the problem.”
“I won’t take that personally.” She playfully huffs. “Things will slow down, Aspen. Just take it a day at a time. It’s all you can do.”
“Can you get me some rum?”
Tonight’s a good night to drown my sorrows.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ryker
“C’mon brother, do me a solid.”
Aiden sits back in his seat and stares at me while taking a slow pull from his beer, enjoying the groveling I’m doing a little too much. He’s still pissed off about the CIA holding Addie.
“Jaxon?” I plea to one of my other best friends.
He holds his hands up in the air. “Don’t look at me, I don’t know where she’s at.”
I drop my head. There’s one man at the table that knows and he’s being an asshole right now.
“Maybe it’s better you don’t know,” Max chimes in. “She has a lot going on right now.” Figures, Max is the voice of reason.
My shoulders rise and fall. He’s probably right. But fuck what’s right at the moment, I need to see her so I can catch my breath. The pinch in my chest hasn’t subsided even after finding out she’s safe.
“She’s the one, huh?” Jaxon asks and I lift my gaze back up.
Shrugging, I answer, “She’s the only woman I see myself with. The only woman that drives me batshit crazy. She’s the only woman…” My words fall short because she is the only woman I want. When she caught my Hail Mary, she also caught my heart.
“Sounds like the one to me,” he replies. “Welcome to the land of no return.”
They all cheer to that, clinking their bottles. I scrape the hairs on my jaw. “We’ve only known each other for two months.” My attempt to drive a stake in what I’m feeling is pointless. Saying it out loud, or repeating it to myself nightly, isn’t working.
“So, why don’t you let this play out?” Aiden asks, sitting forward on the table. “She won’t be in hiding forever.” But if I wait, will it be too late?
I grit my teeth. “Because I need in on the play. I need to be a part of the game.”
Aiden rolls his eyes. “Always the player. I’ll see what I can do.”
I just have to make sure I don’t fumble.
* * *
“Be ready to go by ten,” Max clips in my ear, skipping the greeting when I answer my phone. Shooting up out of bed, I pull my phone back to check the hour. Midnight.
Shit, I wouldn’t care if it was four in the morning.
“Where is she?”
