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“I made a list. Of everyone that I come in contact with daily, except this list only has guys’ names on it.”
“You should—”
“Shh,” I clip, holding a finger up. “Stone enlightened me. I worked all week to cross off every name on that list. It made me feel better about being around them again, like I was creating a false sense of security between us to manage my paranoia.”
Max closes his laptop and shifts in his seat like he’s about to get up, except he thinks better of it and stays where he’s at. Disappointment drags its feet on my heart only to be kicked with confusion in my head. Leave it to Max to have my emotions dueling against each other. One minute I’m pissed he’s in here only to be wishing he was sitting by me the next. “Tink, I want you to feel safe. That’s why we’re here.”
I lie back against the cushion, mentally drained. Pulling my legs up under me, I nod. “I do. But I’m tired of looking at people, wondering if they hate me enough to kill me. And now, my list just doubled.”
“I can go out there if you need some alone time.”
A flash of loneliness makes my insides ache. I fix my attention on the drapes covering the window. Pushing aside the heavy black polyester, highway lights brighten the darkness every few seconds. This week, I debated if I could put myself back out in the public. But being on that stage made me realize it was exactly where I belonged. The drapes slip from my fingers, but I continue to stare at them, mindlessly.
“No. I’m glad you’re here,” I say without looking at him.
My whole body jerks at the sound of a phone. Is it him? Or her? I frantically search for my phone, but Max clears his throat and holds up his ringing phone. I squeeze my eyes shut in relief and embarrassment. I’m losing it.
“Hey Ma,” Max says, his voice naturally deep but with a sweet undertone. It grabs my attention. He’s never mentioned his mother. He chuckles. “He shouldn’t have said anything.” I glance at him and stare in awe. Is Max a mama’s boy?
“I am.”
I giggle to myself that he answered my unasked question, certain I didn’t ask the same question his mom did.
“Ma, we’re not talking about this right now.”
He flashes me a mischievous grin. What is that about?
“Yes, I’ll tell her.” Her? Are they talking about me?
He laughs again. “Enough. Now, tell me why you’re really calling me at midnight your time.”
The sweet undertone does an about-face when his voice hardens. “What the fuck did he do now?”
His cheeks redden as he winces. “Sorry. What the hell did he do now?”
I roll my lips between my teeth to stop from laughing. Max just got put in his place by his mom. A taunt of a smile crosses his lips when his eyes flash to mine. He points at me, teasing.
“You’re gonna get grounded,” I whisper.
Max can’t help but laugh out loud. “No. I’m listening. Sky’s just being obnoxious.”
I unfold my legs and kick him under the table.
“Yes, she’s right here.”
“Absolutely not. You don’t need to talk to her.”
I jump up and reach for the phone while nodding. Yes, let me talk to her. He smirks, grabbing my hand so I can’t get to the phone. “Another time, Ma. Finish telling what he did.”
Our eyes lock as our hands stay connected. His warmth awakens parts of me and I inhale sharply. We both pull back busying ourselves, him talking to his mom and I look through my bag for nothing in particular. Settling on my iPad, I pull it out and open the book I started yesterday. I sense Max’s eyes on me, but I force myself to stare at the empty words. It might as well be a blank page because I’m not retaining any of it.
“I can’t bail him out every time. He needs to learn.”
He lets out a small groan. “Fine. I’ll do it for you. But I can’t promise anything.”
“Love you too, Ma.”
I flinch when he slams the phone down on the table. “Be glad you don’t have any siblings,” he grates out.
