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I run to the guest bedroom and look around. This is not going to work for a five-year-old. I need to go shopping. Like right now. I call Aiden and tell him the awesome news. He wants to come over and celebrate, but then I mention that I need to go shopping today for everything and he suddenly has things he needs to do. Ha, typical man.
But I know who will go with me.
“Sydney, we’re going shopping today!” I scream into the phone, skipping the hellos.
An hour later, I’ve written my list of stuff I want to get for the room and have gone on Google to find the places that we need to go.
“I’m all for what you’re doing, Addie. But isn’t this kind of … excessive?” Syd questions, looking at my total bill.
We’re at Pottery Barn Kids, and I admit I probably went a little overboard. Blythe Carriage Bed and matching dresser. Beautiful bedding, cream with pink and gray medallions and hearts. Rug and window panels to match. Faux fur beanbag, wall art, a floor-length mirror, the whole retro play kitchen in pink, and of course all the accessories to go with the kitchen. A wall storage unit to hold all the books and other toys I already got her at the other stores we’ve been to today. I look at the total and it doesn’t even faze me. I can’t wait until Lexi sees it all. She’s been through so much, I want her to have everything.
“She deserves it,” I say.
“What happens if she gets adopted?”
A pain in my chest starts to ache. That day will definitely suck for me, but it’ll be great for Lexi to find her forever home. I blow out a breath. It’s what is best for Lexi. I can’t be her foster parent forever.
I shrug. “She can take it with her. It’s hers.”
“Mmm-hmm,” she says, narrowing her eyes like she doesn’t believe me.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she answers vaguely, but smiles wide.
I ignore her weird behavior. I’m too excited to move on to the next store.
“So, what’s next?” Syd asks as she follows me on my mission.
“The paint store.”
“Holy shit.” Aiden’s eyes widen in surprise.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I ask, bouncing on my toes. The painters did an awesome job. All the walls except one are a butter cream and the accent wall is a dark gray. The furniture was delivered this morning. I took the day off to get everything set up. It looks like a scene out of a fairy tale—or at least the Pottery Barn catalog. We go get Lexi in two days, so I want to make sure it’s all done before she gets here.
“It is. But that isn’t what I was thinking,” he says, looking around slowly.
My smile turns down. “What’s wrong with it?” I ask, taken back.
“Does a five-year-old need all this?” he asks, opening the play oven and refrigerator. His eyes scan everything in the room.
I stiffen. “Well, I really don’t know because I haven’t been around many five-year-olds,” I huff. “But I think she’ll love it.”
“Oh, sweetheart, there’s nothing wrong with it,” he says, trying to backpedal. He walks up to me, pulling me into his chest. “She’ll love it.”
“She will.” My eyes start to water. “I just want her to feel wanted and like she has a place of her own right now. She’s been shuffled around so much, I want her to have a place that she feels safe and loved.” I dig my head into Aiden’s chest. “Did I go overboard?” I mumble. My shoulders fall.
“No, Addison,” he says, lifting my chin up so I can look at him. His lips curl as his eyes soften. “I’m sorry, I was just surprised. And I’m a guy who doesn’t know anything about little girls and what they need.”
“That is true,” I say, sighing. “But when Syd, who’s the queen of shopping, thinks I went overboard, I probably did.”
“Do you know what I love?”
“Me?” I know that isn’t what he’s asking, because I know without a doubt that he loves me.
“More than you know,” he says. “But I especially love what you have in here, set aside just for Lexi.” He places his hand over my heart. “The part that will do anything to make her happy. You are an incredible woman. And anyone who knows you is incredibly lucky.”
I fight the words that want to come out of my mouth. I’m not sure if lucky is the right word. I come with a lot of baggage and most of the people who I’m close to are a result of said baggage.
