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But I know exactly what they intend to do, and I hate enemas. They are the ultimate in humiliation. And yet, I love the sensation of having to give myself over so completely, giving even my insides over.
Yes.
As one of the Masters spreads my ass cheeks and inserts the nozzle, my tears begin again. The hard plastic is pushed deep inside, then I hear a small creak, and in a moment the water flows inside me, growing hotter and hotter. I should have expected this.
“More,” Master Séverin demands.
Very quickly it’s so hot I can barely take it. My legs shake as my colon begins to burn as if they’ve shoved pure fire up my ass, my entire abdomen filling with scalding liquid until I feel as if I’m being engulfed by the searing heat from the inside out.
When a sob escapes me, a hand comes around my body and pinches my nipple, a hard, fierce pinch that I love and hate simultaneously. But isn’t that my entire existence? That contrast, that contradiction of sensations and head spaces, that delicate balance of polar opposites that is really an enormous part of what binds me to the Masters, Mistresses and Handlers who fuck with me. Certainly at this moment—this moment in which I am questioning how much I can endure.
But I always do endure, don’t I?
And as if it can’t get any worse, Master Séverin shoves several fingers deep into my cunt. I want to clench around them, I want to enjoy the sensation, but my body is so full of the scorching water, the pressure nearly unbearable, that this feels only like another intrusion. More pressure. I let out another harsh sob, hating myself for being so out of control before my time with them has barely begun. But my new Master seems amused as he lets out a low chuckle.
He grabs my chin in his hand and wrenches my face around until I’m forced to meet his gaze. It’s dark and seemingly infinite, and full of a pain so stark I feel pierced by it. Speared straight to the core. My heart twists in my chest. This awful, awful burning that comes from both inside and out scalds me, but not nearly as much as his eyes do. Those eyes hold secrets too deep and dark to let out, even as he hurts me so terribly.
“Sensitive Girl,” he says with some amount of scorn, even as he chuckles once more, but his laughter is empty of everything but a vague pleasure at what they are putting me through.
I have never met anyone who seeps pain the way this man does. Or a Master who seeps joy, as Master Erek does. And again, it’s something about the contrast that’s really fucking with my head, but that is also allowing me to let go in a way I know I haven’t before. I don’t understand this. I only know that this is what I’ve been searching for.
Only a hint of it, Mina. Don’t count on it happening again.
“Come, Erek, lay her down,” my darker Master says.
“Onto your side, Girl,” Master Erek says, his large hands pressing me down onto the bottom of the tub.
Master Séverin moves with me, his fingers still deep inside my pussy. Once I’m lying down, he begins a hard, jabbing thrusting, piercing my insides.
“You hold onto that water, Girl. Don’t you dare let it out of your ass while my fingers are in your cunt.”
He fucks me harder, and the pressure in my abdomen is perhaps one of the worst kinds of pain I have yet experienced. And me being me, I adore him all the more for it. Both of them, my cruel and beautiful Masters.
“Yes, hold it in,” he repeats as the tears slide down my face.
There is some murmuring between them, but I am in no shape to decipher it. Then Master Erek runs the water in the tub for a moment. I have no idea what he’s doing until he lashes me with what feels like a single, wet strip of leather, or perhaps some sort of dragon tongue whip, narrow and stinging so hard on my flesh that I nearly scream. I clench, trying to hold in the water, and what by now is likely the contents of my bowels.
I can only imagine what Master Séverin would do to me if I were to release it with his hand inside me. I bite the inside of my cheek until I taste blood, desperately trying to hold on as Master Erek lashes me again, then again, the wicked little strap smacking my thighs, then my back, then the side of my breast.
He bends down, his face right beside my ear, and whispers, “Beautiful, my Girl. You take so much for us. Hold on just a little longer. You will do that for us, won’t you?”
As if it is actually a question.
“Yes. Anything for you,” I manage to whisper back, meaning every word.
He wraps the narrow leather strap around my neck and begins to pull it tighter moment by moment. I’ll pass out soon, and I know I won’t be able to hold my bowels any longer. I am horrified, disappointed in myself, somehow. The ‘why’ of it doesn’t matter. Only that I do my best to serve my Masters. That they will be pleased with me.
The strap pulls tighter, and I can barely breathe, let alone hold all the burning water inside my body. And Master Séverin continues to fuck me with his hand, deeper, harder as I let out one rough sob after another, my throat burning now, too.
“Choke her out,” Master Séverin says as he pulls his fingers from my pussy.
I feel that tight pull for one single, beautiful, tortured moment before I black out.
Chapter Four
I come to and find that Master Erek is bathing me, using a hand sprayer to wash my body. The room smells only of tangerines, which makes me wonder how long I was out.
My body feels empty inside, and utterly worn out. I know I have given them literally everything I have, all that I am. I am dying to see his face, to be sure he is pleased with me, but I cannot look. I don’t dare. I just lie there on the bottom of the tub, letting him handle me, and he is surprisingly gentle. Tender, almost. And once more I wonder what this gentleness with me will later reveal about his capacity for cruelty.
