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When he finally brought the baby to me, I grabbed the fussy boy. “Shh, it’s okay. Mommy’s here.”
Marcello instantly stopped crying and blinked at me. Then I blinked at him and smiled. I touched his sweet, chubby cheek, and he smiled back at me. We looked at each other for a long moment, and I felt my heartstrings contract. I loved this baby so much. And even though I’d been a pretty crappy mom so far—I think he loved me right back. I was determined to be a better mother. And never go back to how I’d been.
I laid down and arranged us on the bed, Marcello rooting around until he got what he wanted. And as soon as he started his rhythmic feeding, my eyelids grew heavy.
I did open them a short time later to see Carlo watching over us. Marcello was finished, so he picked up the baby to burp him.
He always did that. Not once did I ever have to burp Marcello after a nighttime feeding.
A little while later, I felt my body roll to the side, Carlo behind me again. Holding me. Close.
I couldn’t remember a time I’d ever felt more loved.
13
Carlo
Every day, a little piece of her returned. Sometimes, it was an imperceptible shift. An hour—or a maybe the whole day would pass before I’d clue in.
But she was coming back to us.
Slowly.
And every little piece was such a fuckin’ gift.
“Is he good to go?” I asked Giselle, as she lowered her shirt. She’d been feeding our hungry son for the better part of the last half hour on the couch in the living room. I knew this because I watched them.
Like I always did.
There were so many days—so many weeks, when I didn’t think that would be possible. For all intents and purposes, it had appeared that she’d all but rejected our son. She didn’t pay him any attention at all.
But now, the tides had turned. And Giselle was back to being the fierce mother I’d always known her to be. And it made me abundantly happy.
Never in my life did I think that watching the mother of my baby breastfeeding our baby would affect me so deeply.
But it did.
Giselle giving of her body—again—to feed and care for our son—well, it made me feel a connectedness to her that I’d never felt for another person.
“I think so. I don’t have anything left for him, so he’d better be good for a while,” she teased, handing Marcello over to me. It didn’t matter if she had anything left for him or not. Giselle would give everything she had to keep him happy.
I looked down into my son’s face. He was out. Completely.
His little mouth open, a small trickle of his mother’s milk dribbling lazily out the side.
I gently laid him over my shoulder and rubbed his back. Almost immediately, he let out a loud burp.
Giselle looked at me, and we both chuckled. Our son could burp.
I knew there would be more, though. And if I didn’t get another one out of him, he’d be up again in an hour complaining.
“I’ll be right back,” I said in a low tone before I turned around and headed down the hallway. I walked up the stairs and heard Nick and Eve putting their brood to bed. It took them a while. But they had three where we only had two to put to bed every night.
So far.
Hopefully, I could get Giselle knocked up again. And this time I’d get to be around to watch her belly grow round with my child.
Nick’s voice came through the open door. He was reading a caterpillar book to Theo. His favorite one.
