AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Wow.
Wowww.
I’m going to kill one of my best friends. I am going to slash my friend count in half.
She’s so lucky she’s not the friend living with me.
If she were, this mansion would stage a murder mystery in hours.
Monotone, I say, “You’re dead to me.”
On screen, F-man’s little character comes hopping toward mine while I’m organizing my inventory at our community chest collection. When the bouquet appears in his hands again, I close out of the inventory window and bolt. “Get away from me!”
“Bridge has a point!” he defends.
“No, she doesn’t. Stardew is not real life! You haven’t even experienced my two heart event! To give me that thing, you need to reach my eight heart event!”
He chases me around the main farm house, which belongs to Brigid since this is her save.
On the porch, she drinks a coffee.
Penny loses it, giggling herself into a puddle on the floor in front of the couch in real life. Twisting around, she places her laptop on the cushions and wiggles merrily. “You have it tough, Marshipan. Every farm we’ve ever played together, Marciboo rooms with Krobus. She skips marriage altogether in favor of the sewer blob roommate.”
“Slander,” I hiss as I realize something truly horrible.
I…am smiling.
“Sewer blob?” F-man asks.
“We aren’t there yet,” Brigid informs. “He’s a friendly monster who sells things in the sewers. You can invite him to be your roommate when you build enough of a relationship with him.”
“Fascinating,” F-man murmurs.
I am never telling these back-stabbing ingrates that I’ve downloaded mods that turn Krobus into a dark elf and add heart events to his story. So what if the strange, outcast monster in the sewers is my favorite character? I feel a close personal connection to him.
Sue me.
“I’ve looked him up,” F-man notes, despondently. “Pumpkin, these beauty standards are unattainable.”
“Screw you, Marshi.”
“Well…if you’re offering…”
Penny squeaks, covering her ears and falling against the carpet. “My innocence!”
Her face is actually turning red over there on the other side of the room.
Bless.
“Ma’am?” Teresa scares the living daylights out of me from behind.
Yanking my headphones down around my neck, I face her. “Teresa. Hi! What’s up?” She has a plate of food. Two, actually. That’s peculiar.
Smiling, she offers me one. “Mr. Marsh messaged thirty minutes ago and told me to prepare dinner for you.”
“Oh.” Taken aback, I reach for the plate of steaming green beans and fish fillets. “This looks amazing, thank you.”
Nodding, she makes her way to the other side of the room where Penny is.
