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She had seemed frantic to get the kitten out of his hands before he could fully stumble his way through the words he’d practiced.
“Pollux.”
Pollux closed his eyes. In the agony of his own thoughts, he’d forgotten the yamachichi was still tormenting him.
“Where’s my lecture?” Alexios asked.
“What?” Pollux grumbled.
“My lecture. I just said ignoring boundaries was in my DNA. That is something deeply concerning. A red flag, if you will. Where’s my lecture about how we don’t obey our nature if it causes harm to those we care about?”
“Sounds like you’ve already heard the lecture.”
“I’m worried about you.”
That caused Pollux to still. And turn. And find Alexios’s stormy gray eyes.
“You deal in fear, Pollux. I steal whatever I want. Don’t think for a moment I can’t feel your unease. It’s practically taunting me to take it, but I seem to remember other lectures about stealing things from people we consider friends without their consent.” He planted his gloved palms on the metal table behind him and leaned back. “I’m asking questions as a courtesy. I already know you’re not well. Can I help, or do you want to pretend that you’re still all alone in the world?”
“I appreciate your sentiments, Xios. However, you’ll excuse me for understanding too well the duplicity especially an unseelie fae can hold. Caring for me in simple terms does not override mischief. I learned that lesson a long time ago. The only people I trust is fear of my fear…and Kassandra. If she would give me that honor. Only they have the right to be my undoing if my trust is sorely misplaced.”
Alexios slipped off the table and adjusted his coat and cuffs. “Point taken.” He exhaled a humorless breath. “Don’t mind me. I’m just the adopted one in this unusual family unit. It’s a unique cruelty to know you’re not the favorite of your favorites, but I understand.”
“I will tell you the same thing I have told others, Xios.” Pollux grabbed his arm, firm, stopping him in place before he could walk out. “Trust is earned. Love is not. I would die to keep you safe. Do not for a moment take my caution to mean you are not precious to me. I have made mistakes before in not making these feelings as clear. Where I can, I do not intend to make them again.”
Alexios swallowed, locked his jaw, and nodded. “Go see her. Distance helps anger, but you should know it feeds fear.”
“I will take your counsel into consideration.” Pollux released him.
And he left.
Chapter 8
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ll definitely be unpacking this in therapy ten years from now.
I can’t remember the last time I dreamed…
At one point, when I was very young, I just stopped.
I don’t even really remember why…
I think, one day, I just asked myself not to dream anymore. It was too painful to wake up and find the world I had made lost in vivid memories I couldn’t latch onto.
Walking into this dream is a lot like finding home after being gone for much too long.
Flowers spring up behind my footsteps as brushes stroke color into the sky.
I’m atop a rolling hill, looking on into the forever. Crystal lakes scatter across the rainbow valley. Sun dances across every glass surface. Rabbits play among bluebells. Fish leap from pond to pond as though they have wings. I know I’m dreaming. I already know I will regret waking up.
But, still, it’s like I’ve been under water for years and I’m breathing again for the first time.
The sun is warm on my face, nightgown, and night cap.
The air is…sweet.
Coated in aromas of chai.
