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“Majestic.”
“You know what I mean.”
He kissed between her brows. “Practice attaining true control, and I will not only tell you what you are, but I will also train you.”
“Do you not trust me or something?” she murmured.
“I trust your character, not your ability to navigate even more knowledge when you are already so heavily weighed down. I promise I am acting in an effort to protect you.”
Her lips twisted. “From myself?”
He combed his fingers through her curls. “From burning yourself out even more.” Cupping her cheek in his hand, he smiled. “I care far more about your well-being than about what you are capable of. I know the moment you understand what you can do, you will be looking for ways to use it for others. We’re focusing on you for now, okay, dearest?”
“You’re forcing me to be selfish in my ignorance.”
His gaze drifted as he allowed those words to sink in. Then, he grinned. “Ignorance is bliss, the humans say.”
Her nose wrinkled. “I’ve always hated the implication that joy is more important than taking accountability for knowledge.”
“Secure your own oxygen mask first.” He kissed the tip of her tight nose. “It is important that you are able to breathe when you seek to help others. Is it not?”
Her lip jutted.
“Is it not?”
She turned her face away from him. “Pollux.”
“Yes, my love?”
He heard her heart thump beneath him and around him; the sensation excited him more than words could express.
Fierce and red-faced, she muttered, “Let’s trade places.”
So…they did.
Chapter 28
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parent pressure >>> peer pressure.
It feels like I’ve walked into a children’s cartoon where everything works itself out so long as you’re true to yourself and rely on your friends. It’s utter nonsense, of course. If the world ran on such blissful ideals, teachers would be paid more and a ticket to the Super Bowl wouldn’t cost thousands.
Growing up, I spent so much time mimicking the characters I liked on shows. I spoke in their catch phrases. I practiced their expressions in the mirror. I got smiling down to a science, and that science wasn’t a response to joy.
Often, it was a response to the absence of joy.
Smiles make things better for other people.
We’re taught they convey friendliness and acceptance…as though bad people don’t know how to use them. We’re taught that people who aren’t smiling have resting bad word face. Not smiling is a literal cause for derogatory labeling. It’s okay to assume that people who aren’t smiling don’t like you, are mad, who knows.
All because they didn’t lift the corners of their mouth correctly and constantly.
Being a human is exhausting.
Crawling out of bed, I pat Chai’s tiny head. Today is my final day off before the brief stint of school prior to Christmas and New Year’s break, and I’m already not sure I can handle tomorrow. Nevertheless, I take myself to the bathroom and begin my morning routine, pulling off my silk sleep bonnet and staring at myself in the mirror as my curls come undone around my shoulders.
Unsmiling.
