AllFreeNovel
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Trust is hard.
Saying goodbye is hard.
Change is hard.
But, even now with so much I care about just behind me, I know that loving Ollie is worth every hard thing.
Chapter 29
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If this were a fanfiction, we wouldn’t have to worry about it.
“What are you doing?” I ask, frantic, giddy, scared. It’s tomorrow. Everything changes tomorrow. “Do we need to pack? Even though it’s almost summer, it’s going to be cold in Svalbard, isn’t it? How many layers should I wear? Afterward.” I pace, all the way around the roped-off mess in the middle of the living room. Again and again. “What happens afterward? I don’t have any…appropriate clothes for afterward. Normally those sorts of things appear at a bachelorette party. I have not had a bachelorette party.”
Ollie lifts his gaze off his phone and studies me a long beat before red touches his cheeks. “Nothing has to happen afterward. We can just watch the lights for a bit, and I can teach you how to turn into an arctic fox if you’d like.”
I clap my hands together before my mouth. “Really?”
“If it would make you happy.” He drops his attention back down to his phone, but he doesn’t continue typing. Softly, he says, “You’re absolutely certain you want this? As long as you want me to, I’ll stay by your side. I can’t offer you a family in case our children would suffer, but I don’t want you to think you either have to do this or risk losing me someday. I’ll do anything for you. Be your lover. Your friend. Disappear if you’d prefer having a family with a human…anything.”
An image of Alana’s averted eyes flickers in the back of my mind, and I don’t shove it away. I don’t shove it away because I don’t want to blind myself to any of the consequences. Not this time. This time, I’m not moving to another state in order to be with someone I hope loves me in spite of dozens of red flags.
This time, I’m accepting all the facts and resting in the knowledge that desperation hasn’t prompted my decision.
Taking a deep breath, I relinquish the truth I’ve kept coming back to. “Even if someone appeared who had more to give, no one is ever going to be able to offer me more than your everything, Ollie.”
Steeling himself, Ollie puts his phone down on the armrest and stands. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“To see your family.” Shoulders squared, he looks like the pinnacle of determination.
I feel almost guilty when I say, “I already did that. Two days ago.”
His stiff shoulders droop as his eyes widen. “What?”
“I asked Willow to take me to see Alana.”
Ollie blinks. Something registers, slowly, in his eyes, then he snaps, “Brittny, that’s dangerous.”
“It’s okay. Pollux went wit—”
“What?” Ollie combs his fingers into his hair, gripping the roots. “You were around Pollux? Again?”
“He’s really sweet.” I fold my arms. “I don’t know what you’re getting so worked up about. Other than, of course, the fact you clearly had this planned as a last resort to get me to change my mind. Which hurts a little bit. And is exactly why I didn’t want you to see me say goodbye. You didn’t promise to go through with turning me werecanine when you said you would if I didn’t change my mind. That means your words can be invalidated. I refuse to give you any reason to doubt yourself for my own good. Don’t think I don’t know how stories like this be storying. No thanks to the third-act for their own good garbage that resolves itself in about two stupid minutes when one of the characters finally confesses.” I give him a tight smile. “I love you. Most ardently. There. Skipped to the end and saved us both a headache.”
He winces. “I know Pollux is sweet. But that doesn’t make him any easier to be around. And you…” He flails a hand in my direction. “You’re entirely unaccustomed to being around something like him. It must have been horrible.”
I huff. “It wasn’t super horrible. Just a little uncomfortable. And it was better after I put on your songs. I think he likes your music. Not sure why. He doesn’t smile much, but I did get the feeling.”
Ollie pales. “You showed him my music?”
“We needed travel songs.”
Sweeping his hands down over his face, Ollie crumples back onto the sofa. “I don’t know what to do with you.”
“Love me forever and ever.”
