AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Ollie sucks in a breath. “First of all, don’t talk about your work that way. Second of all, I’m…just baffled.” He’s wrapped himself in a hug by the time I dare to peek outside my cocoon. He unwinds an arm. “How many chapters does this thing…” Another muted swear clues me in to the fact he’s discovered the thriving ninety-eight chapters in the drop-down menu. “Why did you never say anything about this? To anyone. Your sister doesn’t even know. I would have overheard you mention it.”
Right. Telling Alana about this would have ended poorly. She’d have been too excited. Never minding that B-R-I-T-N-E-Y-S vocal skills are based loosely on hers. I…did not get that gift. At all. No one wants to see me try to use chopsticks either. “Oh. I don’t know. Maybe because it’s extremely embarrassing?”
“Oh. Right.” His cheeks tint somehow, magically, further, and he murmurs, “But for whom…?”
“Everyone who witnesses it.”
“I will resort to force if you don’t be kinder to yourself.”
I flop onto my face. “Yay. I know at least twenty words in English. And I can arrange them into grammatically effective sentences.”
“? ???? ?????.”
I turn my face against the carpet. “Did you just have a seizure?”
“It’s possible my heart hasn’t stopped having one from the first moment I laid eyes on you.” He glances sidelong down at me.
The fangirl chipmunk in my head scrambles to write that line down.
Pushing away from the computer and my shame, Ollie turns my desk chair toward me and folds his hands together between his knees. “Let’s pretend for a moment that you are fully fae and incapable of lies…”
I am incapable of prying my body up off the floor, at any rate. I say, “Okay?”
“Do you realize I am nothing like the character you’ve written?”
“I think you’re about a thousand times better.” I wince. “The character I wrote needs to think thrice before subduing his own wants in favor of what’s best for Britney, spelled B-R-I-T-N-E-Y. You’ve done nothing but consider me.” Chewing my cheek, I release a breath. “You are genuinely the kindest, most uplifting person I know.”
“I know for a fact you don’t get out much.”
“Why do I have to be kinder to myself if that’s what you imply about yourself?”
“Because. You are precious, and I am someone whose eyes are described as…” He narrows his eyes at the screen for a moment. “‘…glittering, golden brown orbs’.”
I cover my face with my hands. “It’s a joke. You don’t understand. There’s a culture in the fanfiction world. I happily perpetuate it.”
“If my eyes are glittering, I should probably see an optometrist.”
I peek out between my fingers and find Ollie’s lips wryly curved. His face is still red, but his arms are folded, and something about him exudes a measure of confidence. All at once, I find myself self-conscious concerning my position on the floor at his feet.
“I don’t deserve you, sunshine, but if you think you want me and everything I come with, I will try to find myself more worthy of you. From day to day and hour to hour, I will do whatever I can to make you happy.”
Forcibly, I drag myself into a seated position that is almost respectable, take a deep breath, and hold his gaze. “From the first moment I saw you on dolivers_not_trending, everything about you called to me. From the first moment you entered my life, it’s felt like I’m living in a fanfiction at least two hundred times better than the…”
“…the?” he murmurs after I’ve gone quiet.
“Searching for a word that isn’t drivel.”
He raises a brow.
I nod. “I’ve got it. The properly-punctuated literature I have written. I was still lonely and heartbroken when your music felt like the one solace I could rely on. I don’t know a lot about love. All I know is I was wrong the first time I thought I found it. I know the pictures I’ve put together are idealistic attempts at self-soothing. Everything you come with is a lot.” My chest tightens. “Accepting that soulmates are a thing. Understanding there’s an entire universe I’ve had no concept of just beyond my backyard. Risking changes that could separate me from the only people I know love me. It is a lot.” I splay my fingers against my rioting stomach. “And maybe I’m still naive. Maybe I’m not thinking anything through as deeply as I should. Maybe I’m chasing this high that feels like a romance I would craft if I only could find the right words to put it all together and make it read at least the smallest bit like how it feels…but…I don’t know. I think you’re worth every chance I might be making another mistake. If I listen to this desperate cry in the pit of my chest that just wants so badly to…to be wanted, I don’t think you’ll hurt me. And, yes, I am slightly terrified. I have a history of falling hard for things and losing that love three days, five hundred dollars, and one over-stuffed craft drawer later.” I blow out a breath and wrap myself in a hug. “But…I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever done that with a person. I don’t think I’ve ever been the one to walk away. I have never wanted to.”
Ollie joins me on the floor and wipes a tear from my eye, lingering with his thumb against my cheek.
I look at him. “Do you think you could want me enough to forget about everything else? Is that possible?”
He touches his lips to my forehead. “It isn’t.” He kisses my nose. “I love you more than I want you…but, oh sunshine, I want you a great deal more than you understand.” He pulls back. “Are you really considering accepting everything come this full moon? Even though you aren’t certain about any of it? Based on little more than trust in Cael and…and trust in whatever has compelled our borderline obsession with one another ever since we met in any form?”
I reach for his hand. “I really think I am. I really think whatever this feeling is I want to hold onto it forever. You make me happier than I have ever been.”
