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“So is your customer service.” Row doubled down, head tilted to one side. Laughter bubbled in my chest. Row remained Row, even famous and rich.
“Your mother won’t be happy to hear from me about your manners, young man. I’ll be exchanging some words with her later today,” Dahlia threatened.
“Words are fine, as long as you don’t exchange recipes. My sister won’t survive your cooking.”
I touched his arm briefly, trailing behind him. “Not helping our cause of winning hearts and minds, Casablancas.”
“That’s your dream, Cal. Not mine.” He wormed out of Dahlia’s hold, throwing me a mischievous smirk. “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not.” Of course he was a Kurt Cobain fan. He had the same grungy, don’t-give-a-fuck air about him.
“Thanks, Dahlia. For serving us that coffee.” I shoved Row back into our booth. “We’ll take it with two eggs sunny side up, hash browns, sausage, and a side of fruit. No cantaloupe.”
“Don’t wanna stay where I’m not welcome,” Row grumbled. At this point, I was just pushing him as an excuse to touch him more. “And I definitely don’t want the heart attack that comes with whatever she calls breakfast.”
“Well, we’re staying here as a matter of principle. I don’t like the way these people are treating you. We are not letting them win.” We sat back down.
“Even if we lose?” He scowled at me.
“Even if we lose.” I nodded, aggressively unwrapping my utensils. “We’re going to eat every bite, drink every ounce of coffee, and by God, we are going to pretend to enjoy it.”
ROW
oBITCHuary: Hello.
McMonster: Hi.
oBITCHuary: So…
oBITCHuary: I went back and read through our chats. I totally admitted to you that I’m attracted to my shitty boss, didn’t I?
McMonster: Yup.
oBITCHuary: Enjoying the ego stroke?
McMonster: I’d enjoy it more if you aim south. And, you know, use your tongue.
oBITCHuary: I’m never going to be able to look you in the eye.
McMonster: May I suggest other organs that will welcome your attention, then?
oBITCHuary: I’m so terrified I’m going to yield to temptation.
McMonster: Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll fuck it up before we get to it.
oBITCHuary: WHY are you even interested? You could have any woman in the world.
McMonster: And you’re that woman. Where’s the mystery?
oBITCHuary: I’m completely normal.
McMonster: Respectfully, Cal, you’re not.
oBITCHuary: LOL. I meant average.
McMonster: You’re not that either.
oBITCHuary: What am I, then?
McMonster: If I have a say about it? Mine.
