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“Look at her leg.”
“Ugh, gross.”
“She’s never gonna run again.”
“Dot?”
The last voice belonged to the present. It also belonged to someone who absolutely despised me. What was Row doing awake, anyway? Did he ever sleep? Was he a vampire? I mean, he was painfully beautiful and permanently sulky. Though he did cook with garlic and wasn’t destroyed by fire.
“Are you hurt?” His low, husky baritone rumbled over my head. My face was still stuck in the mud, which was currently my preferred location. Now was not a good time to face your former crush turned boss from hell. I shook my head without lifting it up, feeling so thoroughly mortified, I prayed for a deadly heart attack to spare me the conversation.
“Can you move?” he gruffed.
“Are you asking because I’m blocking your path or because you’re worried about me?” I moaned.
“Can’t afford to be one server short.”
“And they say romance is dead.” My lips moved around the claylike mud.
“Plus, you’re on my property and I can smell an insurance claim from miles away.”
Normally, I was the first to appreciate a good sarcastic quip. But I was currently spiraling worse than a Slinky over my pathetic attempt to run two miles, so all I managed was whimpering into the mud. I felt like an injured animal, cornered by a big, bad wolf.
“Is it okay if I touch you?” His voice hovered above my head. He sounded like he was standing on a treetop. How tall was this man? “Just wanna make sure nothing is broken.”
I am broken, Row. Permanently so. Even if my body is all healed.
“Gently,” I croaked, feeling so pathetic I wanted to cry.
“Of course.”
Row placed his palm between my shoulder blades. It was warm, heavy, and reassuring. A hint of a tremble danced through his fingertips. It wasn’t too cold out, so it gave me pause. Maybe he was an alcoholic. That could also explain his mood swings.
“You gonna stay there for long?” he inquired.
“Maybe enough for a quick power nap,” I mumbled into the dirt. “I thought you were going to check my leg isn’t broken?”
“It’s not your leg I’m worried about.”
I hated that he always did that. Seemed to know so much more about me than anyone else. It was ridiculous, but sometimes I felt like he knew me better than Mom. He always knew when I lied and when I needed something I was too chicken to ask for. Like right now? I really needed that big, warm, reassuring palm on me.
“How did it happen?” he asked quietly, his hand still on my back. I wanted him to keep it there forever. I also wanted him to go away and never come back.
“I was jogging. My legs kept running when I told them to stop. And then I kind of lost my vision for a moment and my breathing got all weird. I think maybe I’m broken.” My voice cracked a little, and I felt like the tiniest, stupidest creature on planet Earth. “Best if you leave me to die here.”
“Your broken is still the most whole thing I’ve seen.”
Maybe I was hallucinating, but I could swear I heard McMonster. But of course I hadn’t. McMonster was down in New York, and I’d never even heard his voice. Known his name. This was Row. Infuriating, sexy, my best friend’s brother, Row.
“What?” I raised my face from the dirt, peeking at him.
“Didn’t say anything.” Row clasped my shoulders very gently, lifting me up to collapse over his broad chest. He was on his knees in the dirt, right there with me. And I wanted to throw a tantrum like a toddler because now I couldn’t even hate him all the way. Underneath his relentlessly cold exterior was a compassionate creature who built the women in his life their dream house and literally pulled people from the mud.
God, please don’t let me crush on him again. My heart couldn’t survive season six of This Is Us, what makes you think I can withstand him?
I wanted love. I wanted sex. I wanted all the things other people had and I didn’t. But I wanted them with someone I could trust. And that someone was McMonster. Not Row.
“Just leave,” I moaned into his neck. He smelled like himself again, not the cologne I’d smelled yesterday when he’d come to pick me up. Of winter and leather, warm spices and Ambrose Casablancas. My skin hummed with pleasure.
