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“Okay, and?” I try to wait patiently for him to continue, but it’s a struggle. I hate that I want to hear about her. She’s the reason Calden and I don’t have mothers. Or aunts. She tried to help us, but we didn’t need her help and she used Aaron to do that.
“On the way home from school, after the fight, my dad went on and on about –” he hesitates.
“Don’t sugarcoat it for me now. You sure as hell don’t any other time,” I scoff.
“Yeah.” He looks on the verge of tears, and I hope to hell he doesn’t think I’m going to wipe them away and kiss it better. I would sooner set myself on fire. “Alara, when my mother left, my father blamed yours. I was young, and overnight, my dad went from a typical father to an angry, broken man.”
“All three of us lost mothers that night, Aaron. What’s your point?”
“I was just a scared little boy, Alara. And my father’s anger spilled into every room in our home. I didn’t understand what was happening, and I trusted his words. He blamed your family, and I believed him.”
“Look, I don’t need an apology for what happened back then.” I fight the urge to tap harder against my collarbone, not wanting to give away how uncomfortable his presence is making me. How much I want to understand why he told her about us. How much I want to forgive him. “We were all kids, and our parents did what humans have always done. They let their emotions fuck shit up.”
“They did, but I don’t want to be that man anymore.” I’m genuinely impressed by his admission. “That’s why I called her. What Calden said in the office the other day stuck with me. I couldn’t get it out of my head on the way home, and the more I tried to deny it, the more I thought about my actions. I’ve been horrible to you, Alara. We were best friends, and I allowed my father’s words to take that from us. And then I weaponized them. I called my mother, not because I want to forgive her but because I need to so that I can fix myself. I’m ashamed of my behavior. And of the company I choose to keep.”
“That’s—” I hesitate, choosing my words carefully– “fucking heavy.” Nailed it.
“Is it?” He chuckles. “Can I fix this, Alara?”
“What is there to fix now, Aaron?” I hate the small seed of hope he’s planting. My family was never fully accepted in this town, but the day Aaron threw me away, we went from being a little different to total outcasts. We can’t even manage to get decent jobs here anymore. But I will not admit to Aaron how much his actions truly hurt my family. How alone we’ve been in this town filled with people.
“Us?” He fidgets with his class ring. “I’m not asking you to marry me, Alara.”
“I would hope the fuck not.” I nearly choke. Good lord, was this his mother’s advice? No wonder we’re all so fucked up. “Well then, what do you want? A clear conscience? Forgiveness? Absolution?”
“I want you to give me a chance to do better. To fix the mess I’ve made.” He holds out his hand, and I almost fall for it.
“No.” I jump to my feet, nearly knocking over my chair. “I don’t know why you’re doing this, Aaron, but I don’t trust you. I haven’t in a long time.”
“I know.” He stands up slowly and steps back, his sneakers shuffling across the wooden slats. “My mother said you would say that. Actions caused all of this, and actions will have to fix it. Will you let me try?”
“Will I let you be a better person?” I arch a single brow.
“Yeah.” He chuckles. “Not that you have ever let me get away with being a total shit.”
“It’s my gift. What can I say?” I shrug. “I have no filter.”
“One of your gifts, but we both know you’re far more than what you show the world.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small piece of folded paper, holding it out to me. When I don’t accept it, he places it gently on the small broken table in front of the chair I was just sitting in. “It’s my mother’s phone number. She asked me to give it to you now that you’re eighteen. Just in case.”
“Just in case of what?” It’s a strange thing for someone you haven’t seen in ten years to say. What the hell could I possibly want from the woman who was with my mother the night she died?
“I don’t know,” He shrugs. “She wouldn’t tell me, but she said not to push either of you on it. I’m trying to respect that.”
“Look at you taking no for an answer,” I snap. “Sorry, this is going to take some getting used to.”
“You don’t have to apologize, but thank you.” The corner of his mouth tilts up slightly, and he turns to step off the porch. “I have to get to football practice before the coach adds more laps to my punishment.”
“Your punishment?” I ask.
“Our principal may be a pushover when it comes to my father, but Coach sure as shit doesn’t let me get away with anything. Especially the way I disrespected you.” He lowers his eyes, suddenly more interested in his shoes than looking me in the eye. “You never mess with a man who grew up being the older brother to six sisters. I’m pretty sure he’s going to name Calden team captain.”
“Calden doesn’t play sports.” I laugh, “Hell, Calden doesn’t play well with others in general.”
“No, he doesn’t. But it’s obvious to everyone how much Calden loves you, and that alone is enough to earn Coach’s respect.” He reaches into his pocket, and his car starts. “Mine too.”
“Fancy car.” I snort.
“Hey now, don’t boujee shame my remote start.”
