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“You’re selfish.”
“You’ll never be good enough.”
I bite my lip, trying to hold back the sobs. Tears blur the passing scenery, and I feel completely lost, adrift in a sea of doubt and pain.
As we pull up to my apartment, I hesitate, not wanting to get out of the car. “Noah,” I begin, my voice barely a whisper. “I’m sorry if I upset you. I didn’t mean to.”
He turns to look at me, his expression softening slightly. “I know, Aria. I just…I need you to understand how much you mean to me. How much I need you.”
“I do,” I say, reaching for his hand. “I love you.”
He squeezes my hand, his grip almost too tight. “I love you too. More than anything.”
I blink away my tears as he pulls into my apartment building. The cheerful beach day fades away, replaced by the looming shadows of our building, a concrete reminder of the reality I’m returning to. Nerves bubble in my stomach as he throws the car in park and gets out, not even looking back at me as he unloads the trunk.
Inside, something screams at me that something isn’t right and that I need to run as fast and as far as I can, but I can’t. I don’t. I don’t understand the feelings bubbling up inside me.
As I climb out of the car, my phone rings, and my aunt’s smiling face peers up at me.
“Hey, what’s up?” Genuine happiness fills me as I answer the call.
“Girl,” she begins, making me laugh. My aunt is my mom but not my mom. She raised me when my parents died in an awful car crash when I was just a kid. She’s my home and only thirteen years older than me. She was twenty when my parents died, but she didn’t give a fuck. I was hers, and I’m thankful for her existence every damn day. She never wanted kids anyway, and somehow, this was the perfect situation for both of us. She’s a badass beta with a heart of gold.
“Spill the tea,” I sing as I tug my keys from my purse.
“So,” she begins, “remember that guy I was seeing?”
“Which one? Baldy, or the guy with too much hair? Really, there’s no in-between for you.” I laugh as I push open our door and wait for Noah to come up with our things.
“Sasquatch,” she says. “Well, I think I like him, and I want you to meet him. What do you say to dinner Sunday night?”
“I’m in.” The words fall from my mouth immediately. If my auntie is in love, then I must meet the guy who swept her off her feet.
“Fuck yeah. I’m thinking I’m going to test his cooking skills. What do you want to eat?” she asks.
“Better play it safe.”
“You’re right—burgers and sides.”
“I’ll bring dessert.” I giggle just as Noah comes up over the steps.
“Know what I’ve been craving?” She sighs, and I can just picture her sparkling gray eyes and the smile on her face. “That tiramisu you made with ice cream.”
“Auntie, I made that when I was eighteen.” I step out of the way for Noah to enter.
“And I can’t stop thinking about it,” she presses.
“I’ll make it. I love you. Can’t wait to see you.” I’m so focused on my auntie and her happiness that I don’t notice the sudden silence behind me. The air shifts, a chill runs down my spine, and as I turn, I never see the fist flying toward my face.
26
ARIA
With hellhounds on my heels, I burst out of the elevator, desperately searching for an exit. A long sigh crackles through the phone line at the same time the elevator dings behind me. Feeling like I’m in a race against time, I duck my head and take off for the nearest door, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts.
“It’s been what, six? Seven months?” Cayenne sounds exhausted over the line, her voice a mixture of frustration and concern.
“Since what?” I rush through the revolving door that deposits me on the sidewalk. Bright sunlight streams down on me from above as I head toward the nearest bus stop, my steps hurried.
