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Stepping closer to her, I placed my hands on her hips and walked her back against the closed door. “Is it too soon to say what I’m feeling terrifies me?”
“Only if the feeling is horrible,” she warned.
“It’s a great feeling, but that’s what’s scaring me.”
“What is your gut telling you?”
“It’s telling me, ‘Hell yeah, there’s no guarantees in life.’”
“What’s the worst thing that can happen? What do you fear the most?”
“You know what that is.”
“No, I don’t. I need you to spell it out for me.”
“These feelings I have for you. After last night, I could easily go all in. I mean we’ve known each other for many years now and we’ve lived in the same house. I know you as a person. I know your personality: likes and dislikes about bands, music, movies; the way you parent my daughter… all the things it would take years to learn if we were a couple starting from scratch.”
“Yeah, I get that…” Harper looked as if she was mulling over my explanation.
“What you’re saying is, even though the sex part is new, we’re already living as a family together?”
“Yeah. I fought what I’ve been feeling for the right reasons, but now I’ve had this mental shift in my mind. I don’t want to live alone, but I’m scared to give everything in case I lose it.
“Cole, I know you’ve heard this all before… multiple times, but what happened with Grace was a freak event. Statistically it’s extremely rare. You need to remind yourself of this and challenge it, not let it disable you from finding happiness.”
“I know. I’m trying,” I replied, as I gazed seriously into her eyes and smoothed down her hair.
“Try harder,” she prompted, her smile softening the words. “You deserve to be happy, but you have to allow yourself to be. Believe it and you’ll make it happen.”
Pulling her close, I kissed her gently and pulled back. “Thank you for putting up with me all this time, I know it hasn’t been easy.”
“No, there are times when it hasn’t, but to see you recover from then until now has been a privilege.”
“All right, go and get those sexy-as-fuck yoga pants, I’ve got some voyeuristic tendencies,” I joked. Giving her an affectionate pat on the ass, I opened the door and gently shoved her through it into the hallway. “Because if I keep you here, you’ll be over my desk any second.”
Walking backward, Harper grinned. “Promises, promises,” she goaded, then turned and sashayed away. I smiled at her playful tone, and the seductive way she swayed her hips was designed to get a rise out of me. Adjusting my dick in my pants, I realized she already had.
During the following weeks life didn’t change that much between us, apart from the fact I was more open with my feelings for Harper. Also, now that we were together, there were many more opportunities to get to know my daughter better, and Layla loved all three of us doing things together.
For a while Harper and I continued to meet in the ‘sleepover’ room, but the rest of the time we kept to our separate spaces, and from my point of view, this began to irritate me. With every day that passed, I found myself waiting for the times when we could spend some quality time alone. Nine weeks after Layla had found us in bed together, I’d had enough of this.
When Harper and Layla had left for school, I asked Matty to call the interior designer Grace had used. Explaining the situation, I asked her to redesign my bedroom, and after a few emails, I’d swapped out all the dark wood furniture that Grace had loved and replaced it with white high-gloss stuff instead. The bed went as well and was replaced with an awesome new custom made one. The designer informed me the changes could be completed in less than a week.
After Layla had gone to sleep that night, I told Harper what I was thinking. “What would you say, if I said it was time, we told Layla about us?”
Smiling widely, she nodded. “You’re sure?”
“I am. What do you think?”
“I think it’s my turn to be scared,” she replied quietly, and grabbed my hand. Placing it over her heart, she prompted, “Feel.” Her heart raced.
“Ah, so that’s what it takes to scare you?” I asked, because she was normally so laid back.
Harper dropped my hand and hugged me tight; then she pulled her head back just enough to look at me. Her eyes softened.
“This is a massive step you’re taking, Cole. I want you to be sure you’re doing this for yourself and not just for me or Layla.”
“Believe me, Baby, this is a move for all of us. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of sneaking around. I miss you from the moment you leave my bed until you’re back there with me.”
