AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Like you were a saint while you were away,” she shot back. I swallowed as I considered her statement because her assumption was wrong.
“That isn’t true,” I replied honestly, and I hate that you let that guy inside you.”
“If we’d…” She wagged her finger between us. “I would never… but the way you left me…” She shrugged, helpless and lost for words until she added, “You were a dick leaving me like that without a word.”
“I know,” I admitted, feeling like a real asshole, “but I did it because the last thing in the world I had wanted to do was to use you. I’ve voiced it before, Harper; you matter to me. Maybe if it hadn’t been my last night here, and I hadn’t only just been given the letter from Grace… or if I’d made the first move…” I left the end of the sentence hanging because there were too many variables to have made the right decision. Gazing into her gorgeous trusting blue eyes I saw immediate forgiveness.
“Where does this leave us? I mean do I still have a job?” I knew she was joking, and I chuckled, then I tenderly smoothed down her hair. Holding her head in my hands, I looked into her questioning eyes as they searched mine.
“Can I take you out on a date?”
Harper’s eyes widened, and she smiled. “Seriously? I should kick you in the nuts, Cole Harkin.”
“Yeah, I’m serious, but only if you promise not to be knockout drunk at the end of the night,” I teased.
Looking embarrassed again she laughed softly, “Depends on the company. If you become whiny and boring…” She trailed off, making a smile tug at my lips. My curious eyes ticked over her gorgeous even features for a moment and I leaned in closer.
Tracing one hand over her brow, around her cheek and down her nose, I savored the moment of being able to touch her properly for the first time without feeling riddled with guilt. My mouth watered, and I swallowed audibly at the significance of the moment. I was touching Harper intimately because I felt compelled to.
A soft sigh of relief escaped her lips, and she closed her eyes as she basked in the moment. Tipping her chin higher, I brought our lips closer and our shallow breaths quickened in anticipation of the kiss we both wanted to share. In the end it was me who took the initiative.
Pressing my lips to hers, a soft breathy moan of relief immediately passed them. “Cole,” she murmured as I pulled back and pressed another to the corner of her mouth. Pulling back to take another look at her, I smiled small, then bigger when I saw her smile in return, and then I kissed her again, really kissed her.
Unlike the raw, desperate, lust-filled, frenzied kisses we’d shared in the dark many weeks before, this one was slow and unhurried—a sensual kiss that was different from any other I’d had since Grace.
Palming the soft skin of her jawline, her cheek, I trailed my fingertips up her neck, before I buried them in her hair. Harper’s warm hands explored me in return, sliding under my T-shirt to trace the lines of my ab muscles, smoothing her palms over my pecs, and skating them around to my back. Both of us shivered; reacting to the firey chemistry igniting between us.
It wasn’t long before a burst of adrenaline bumped up my heart rate, and I tore my lips away because one small kiss between us was all I could trust myself with, deciding if we were going ahead and exploring our feelings, then there was a condition attached.
“I’d rather Layla didn’t know about this for now, and I want you to know it’s not because I don’t think we’ll go anywhere—”
“No, I get it,” Harper quickly agreed. “We shouldn’t risk disrupting her. You don’t have to worry, no matter what happens, I’ll be in Layla’s life for as long as she wants me to be.”
Relief washed through me, because although it wasn’t a very romantic start, the decision to keep our feelings a secret at least until we knew what they truly were, felt like the right thing to do.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“We need to take this downstairs.” Leading Harper out of her bedroom, we headed to the kitchen as I cleared the husky lust from my voice. I poured us some coffee and placed the mug on the table because I felt a physical barrier was needed to keep us in control. I wasn’t willing to jump her at the first opportunity and our experience of being alone in a room together had a poor track record.
If we were going forward, I knew when I finally did take Harper, I wanted it to mean more than a frantic lust filled twenty-minute ride.
“First things first. Text that guy and tell him you’re done.”
Harper pulled her phone out of her pocket but placed it on the table. I knew she’d probably talk to him later about it, but I wanted to voice my request to ensure the significance of what I was saying.
“Before we go ahead with this, I want you to understand what you’re getting yourself into. I want you to understand how numb I sometimes feel, like my heart has stopped beating, yet somehow I’m still living and the never-ending hurt continues to live on. It’s like I wish my existence on Earth would hurry up and be over in this life. A thousand nights full of breathless tears, that’s what I’m clawing my way back from.”
Glancing up, my eyes met Harper’s across the table and she winced at my description of my loss.
“That’s how I felt about losing Grace. Coming back from something like this takes a huge amount of bravery, and if I’ve learned anything from this whole horrifically raw experience, it’s that I wasn’t an innately brave man; it’s been an extremely tough skill to learn.”
Leaning over the table, Harper placed a hand over mine. “You’re right, I don’t know the feeling, but I know how it feels to watch someone walk that walk, Cole, because I’ve been here every step of the way.” For a long moment I stopped thinking and stared at her before I considered her answer. I’d never viewed it this way before, but she was right. I nodded, accepting her point and my heart squeezed at the dedication she’d shown my daughter and I.
“Everyone suffers love and loss at some time. Some feel it harder than others. The length of time it has taken for you to pick up the threads of your life tells me you love deeply. I’m not a replacement for Grace… I’d never want to be. If we do this, you need to be prepared for risk, but it’s not one-sided. There’s a bigger risk here for me than for you.”
Nodding slowly, I accepted her comment because what she said was true. How does a girl go from filling one role to one person to being two people’s everything? Then I considered maybe Harper had been everything to Layla and I a long time ago and I’d been too selfish to see it.
“Indeed, and you have to believe me when I say the reasons for holding back with you were mainly for your benefit… and Layla’s of course.”
