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Sitting up quickly, I knew I couldn’t continue to pretend what was going on inside me wasn’t there. “Sorry, Honey, I just remembered something I need to take care of. I’ve gotta make a quick call to Derek. Thanks for the workout; I really enjoyed it,” I lied, standing quickly and taking off toward the house.
“Derek called, he wants you to call him back,” Matty called after me, as if divine intervention had occurred. I hurried through the kitchen and took the stairs up to my room.
“Thanks, I’ll grab a shower then get to it,” I replied over my shoulder, not trusting my flustered mood or the dick bobbing in my sweats not to show.
Stripping by my unmade bed, I made my way into my bathroom and stepped into my hot steaming shower.
As the force of the water jets pummeled my shoulders, I stood staring at the shower door until it went misty and as the bathroom vanity became obscured from sight, my mind fell into an array of thoughts I sincerely wished I didn’t have to deal with.
Chaos reigned in my head, invading my mind with a war I didn’t want to fight, but defeat was not an option, Harper was a no-go area.
My feelings swung between the never-ending grief about Grace, to the sudden heated desires I had for the deliciously enticing forbidden fruit who lived under my roof.
Then there were guilty feelings, because the woman who still held my fragile broken heart wasn’t here anymore, and this time it wasn’t only my groin that was nudging me in continual prompts to move on.
In the weeks since I’d been home, I realized I’d thought less about Grace during the day, but I hated that my mind was swapping her out in favor of inappropriate feelings toward Harper.
By the time I left the shower I was squeaky clean and emotionally wrung out, having come twice in my raw need to curb my desires.
It was only 11:00 a.m., and with Layla at school, I didn’t trust myself around Harper with all the thoughts running around in my head, so I picked up my cell and called my friend, Max, without another thought.
“Hey, Max, what would you say if I told you I needed a distraction?” I asked, a hint of amusement in my voice I certainly wasn’t feeling.
“I’d say, he’s right here. What did you have in mind?”
“Escapism,” I replied, because God knew how hard I was finding my reality.
“You’re in luck, Finley and Grant are here. My driver was just bringing the car around. Can you be ready in ten?”
“What’s the plan?”
“Day at the beach. Some surf, a few women, my ball and chain included,” he added in reference to Sarah-Jayne. “As a matter-of-fact, she suggested inviting you along, but after I saw you at your cookout, I figured you were nowhere near ready for climbing back in the saddle.”
Frowning at his comment, I knew exactly what he’d implied, but I had to get out of the house. “I’m not, but being at home… I could do with a change of scene for a few hours.”
“Grab what you need and maybe a change of clothing in case we make a night of it too,” he suggested, and then we concluded the call.
Pulling on some board shorts and a basketball tank, I stuffed some clothes in a garment bag and headed downstairs. When I entered the kitchen to grab some water from the fridge I saw Harper sitting at the table reading.
“Hey, I didn’t see you there. I’m going out for the day and I probably won’t be back before Layla goes to bed. Can you make sure she calls me after school?”
Glancing up from the e-reader poised in her hand, Harper gave me a look of surprise. “Sure, going anywhere nice?” I thought for a moment I heard a note of disappointment in her voice.
“Max and Sarah-Jayne invited me to the beach,” I informed her. Why I let her think it was only the two of them and me I had no idea, but I left the kitchen without correcting myself.
CHAPTER TWELVE
An hour at the beach was my limit and although Max, his wife and the boys from his band did their best to keep the day low key and keep me entertained at the same time. I found I couldn’t relax.
Max’s wife had been Grace’s closest friend since they’d moved in to their place a month after us, and even though Grace wasn’t around anymore I couldn’t bring myself to let go all the while Sarah-Jayne was around.
Thankfully, Max was very laid back and said he understood. Derek only lived forty five minutes away from where we were and he came without question to pick me up. He gave me a meal and a bed for the night, then arranged a ride home for me early the following morning.
As I entered the house I went into the kitchen when I heard Layla talking. She was chatting excitedly in a one-person conversation, asking questions and answering herself about our plans for the day. Harper had been quietly listening but looked up at me when she heard me open the door. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, checking me out as Layla jumped out of her seat and ran over toward me.
Hugging my leg, she grinned up at me with her cutest persuasive expression. “We’re still going to get my puppy today, right, Daddy?” The doubt in her voice melted my heart.
“Of course, Baby, I’d never let you down,” I responded, remember the way she’d conned an agreement from me a few days before.
