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I didn’t want to rely on it too much, but tonight, I needed it. He held his arms open, and I walked into them.
“Feeling better?” His words tickled my hair.
“Now that I’m here,” I said, looking up at him.
His lips curled into a soft smile. “Hungry?”
“I forgot I didn’t eat lunch.” Visiting the health clubs this morning seemed so long ago. Almost like a different day.
The meditation helped a little, but I longed for a deeper connection.
Colton kept me tucked into his side as we walked through his home. Scout greeted us, his tail wagging. Patting his head, I took in my surroundings. The kitchen was modern with white cabinets and gray swirl countertops; there was also a sunken family room with a large, comfortable-looking sectional facing a flat-screen TV over a large stone fireplace.
He let me go to finish cutting up cherry tomatoes for a salad.
“Your place is beautiful.”
“It was the first thing I purchased when I came back. I didn’t want to live in an apartment.”
“You wanted something for yourself. A place you could call home.”
He glanced up at me, almost as if he were surprised by my observations. “That’s right.”
I slid onto the stool at the large island. “I want the same. Don’t get me wrong, I love my cozy apartment and its proximity to work. And maybe I see a home as the people I surround myself with, not so much the place.”
I was a little surprised by my words. I always knew I wanted a family.
He looked at me with so much warmth in his gaze. “I love that.”
I tapped my fingers on the counter, not mentioning that I wasn’t close to having that. Normally, I surrendered myself, believing there was a right moment for everything. But today, I was off-kilter, more needy and desperate than I usually felt.
Carrying the salad bowl, he said, “The steak and potatoes are on the grill.”
“Can I help with anything?” I asked, sliding off the stool.
“Can you grab the plates and napkins?”
I picked up the pile of plates, silverware, and paper napkins that were in one stack, and I followed his lead outside. It was the deck in the picture. His view was an expansive, sloping yard with trees in the distance. “This is so nice and private.”
“It was what sold me on the property when I visited.”
I set the table, carefully folding the napkins and placing the silverware on top. I couldn’t remember the last time I went to my parents’ home for dinner. “I can see why.”
He set the salad in the center of the table, filling the bamboo bowls that had already been brought out before I arrived. When he was satisfied the salads were balanced with veggies and tomatoes, he moved to the grill and opened the cover.
I thought about what it would be like to invite Colton to my parents’ farm. Would they be upset, knowing he’d dated Delilah? Or would they be happy? He was exactly what they wanted for me. Someone practical who would ground me.
So far, Colton hadn’t balked at some of my strange practices, but would he tonight when I asked him to join me in meditation? It would be a good test to see if he truly could relax and let go. I didn’t need him to believe it, just respect that I did. That was important to me.
Colton used tongs to move each tin-foil-wrapped baked potato that he placed on a large serving plate, then checked the steaks. “You have a temperature preference?”
“Medium well is good.” I could see him grilling in the evenings, but did he invite friends over, or was he usually alone? I suspected he was alone, and it made me feel a little sad for him.
“Then they’re ready.” He plated the steaks, set the serving platter in the middle of the table, then made sure my plate was filled with a steak and potato.
“I have all the fixings for the baked potatoes. Let me grab them.”
Half-rising, I said, “I can help.”
