Page 32 of Resist Me


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“Frankly, Tammy, our relationship isn’t anyone’s business but ours,” I stated. “You heard James tell you he loves me, and he’s well aware of all my flaws, but I’d like to put you straight on something if I may … if that’s all right with you, James, of course.”

James frowned, wondering what I wanted to say, but nodded and pointed toward his sister. “Shoot.”

“Did you know James and I avoided each other for years? Not months, Tammy… literally for years. Do you know why?” I paused, but she sat motionless and stared pointedly at me. When she had no reply I continued, “It was because James wanted more than I’d felt able to give him, and I was scared to commit to him. That miscommunication, along with scars from our past relationships with others, kept us apart after Sawyer and Billie’s wedding night.”

“True,” James agreed, moving a hand from my waist and slipping his hand in mine. He lifted them to his lips and kissed my knuckles before glancing at me with regret in his eyes for the time we had lost.

“Did you give Sawyer the same ‘talk’ as you gave to James?” Billie asked, sounding the angriest I’d ever heard her. “Because truthfully, Tammy, it would break my heart to think you had been so supportive toward me, and that same kind of conversation had been happening behind closed doors with him at the same time. I mean, this is about age, right? That Tricia and he won’t have any children.”

“Obviously, I didn’t talk to Sawyer because it was different with you two. You were younger, and Sawyer had Colby.”

“And we have Erin,” I heard James snap back. He immediately smiled and looked proud to have slapped her down.

“No one mentioned you had children,” Tammy replied, blinking rapidly in shock.

“Because I didn’t realize we had to run everything past you, Tammy,” her brother admonished without expanding on my history with Erin. “To be frank, I’m embarrassed by your behavior today. I used to pride myself in my family’s ability to accept all comers, regardless of someone’s history.”

“Listen—” Tammy said, trying to cut in.

“No, you listen. Caitlin married a construction worker, you’re married to a driven businessman, and Lorna … well, I’ve never seen Lorna with a boyfriend. Sawyer married Billie and there’s an age gap there. Yet, when it comes to me, you’ve found exception toward the person I’ve chosen? Seriously, after the shit I went through with Charlotte?” he sighed, sounding disappointed. “Well, fuck you, Tammy, get over yourself.”

Turning away from her, he led me back from the kitchen through the hallway and out of the patio doors, to where his parents, Lorna, and Sawyer were sitting. All the older children were playing lawn games far enough away they couldn’t have heard the adults talking.

“We’re going to take off. Tricia’s had a very difficult week with her mom’s funeral. I’m going to take her back to New York. She’s not been sleeping very well, and I think being in our own bed will help.”

Tammy followed us outside and when I glanced over, Billie gave me a sympathetic smile. I figured she thought James was right to be angry. Sawyer stood, his eyes blazing with anger and put his hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“No, James, I heard some of your conversation with our Tammy and I won’t stand by and let her prejudice you and Tricia out of here. Sorry, Mom, I know this is your birthday, but what’s been going on between Tammy and James is far too important to let them walk away without straightening their argument out.”

“Why? What did you say, Tammy?” Caitlin asked.

James flashed Sawyer an angry look, but his brother continued, “Tricia’s already part of this family, and I’m ashamed at how Tammy has taken it upon herself to get up in James and Tricia’s business. This family has been through enough shit without one of us meddling in the relationships of others. You all know the painful history that exists between James and me, but we’re good now, in fact we’re great, he’s the big brother I always wanted.”

“That makes me so happy to hear you talk about your brother this way,” Harriett interjected.

“I’m glad you’re happy, Mom. You brought us up not to judge, yet Tammy thinks James should find someone else because … well, let’s say it as it is, she thinks Tricia’s too old to have children.” Harriett gasped in horror and stared at her daughter.

“Tammy, is this true?” she asked?

“Why are you asking her? Why not ask James if what she said was true? Tricia has a daughter from a previous relationship. I’m not going to go into the whole story, but Billie and I have been privileged to know what these two have been going through. The child was adopted at birth and Tricia has punished herself for years because her mom made her give that child up. So, Tammy, perhaps you’d like to imagine that for a minute?”

In that instant all eyes were on me and I thought I was going to faint, but James held me firm. Sawyer’s unexpected disclosure about Erin had laid my secret bare. I knew he hadn’t done it with malice, but to put his sister firmly back in her place.

Tammy hugged herself and looked to her husband for support. Jonathan looked away in disgust and it was clear she was on her own.

“However, Erin, Tricia’s daughter, has found her way back and they are all figuring things out,” Sawyer continued after his bombshell about me had settled. “The last thing Tricia or James need is anyone bitching and dissecting how they have chosen to live, because their arrangement doesn’t suit an idea of what Tammy thinks it should be.”

“Can I say something?” Caitlin asked, her hand in the air, as she looked at Tammy first, then to James and I. “I apologize on my sister’s behalf. I can only view what happened to you from the other side of adoption. Brock’s mom was only eighteen when she had him.” She smiled, sympathetically. “We still keep in touch with her twice a year and Brock has always known he’s adopted. If you ever want to talk, you can call me anytime. And for the record, Tammy, I think Tricia is perfect for James. Before Charlotte he had a loose reputation, and after what she did, I never imagined he’d ever settle down with anyone.”

Feeling stronger for all their support, I felt it only right that I smooth things out a little. The last thing I wanted to happen was derision between James and his siblings.

“Now that I’ve calmed down, I’d like to say I understand Tammy’s point, and I’d like to cut her some slack because she felt she was looking out for her brother, no matter how misguided her comments have been. I understand how she feels, and at one time I had felt the same. It was one of the main reasons why I had tried to resist falling for James,” I said.

“Tricia told me she couldn’t give me kids and told me to find someone else, but I really don’t care about a child of my own. Look at them,” James added, nodding toward their children. “I have plenty of kids to spoil, and we have Erin, who we are excited to know.”

“I have never seen James look at any woman the way he looks at you,” Lorna added, which surprised me, as she hadn’t spoke to me all that day.

“Thanks, everyone, we appreciate your support,” James said and scowled again at Tammy.

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