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My parents insisted the staff never worked on Thanksgiving and we all chipped in to prepare the feast for our Thanksgiving dinner. But this presented a nightmare for Billie as her sense of smell had grown so strong any smell of food cooking made her feel nauseated.
For a few minutes I watched as she attempted to strain water from the cauliflower, and I’d noticed how hard she’d been struggling to hide how she felt. Knowing we’d gotten this far and not wanting my family to find out too early, I quickly pulled out my cell.
“Mmm, what does he want?” I muttered just loud enough for people to hear. “Hello?” I asked and gave a long sigh as I pretended to listen to my imaginary caller. “She is but—” I heaved out a sigh. “I suppose so.” Turning my attention to Billie I shrugged. “It’s Logan,” I said in a clipped tone.
“Logan,” she repeated, setting the huge pot down and wiping her hands.
“Leave that,” I told her, before I turned my attention to Tammy. “You got that, right?” I asked and winked.
“Sure,” she replied, looking puzzled as I led Billie out of the kitchen to the great room and opened the French doors. I pulled her out into the fresh air and it was freezing, but I knew it was the quickest way of clearing Billie’s head.
“What does he want?” she asked, gesturing to the phone. I glanced down at it, closed the screen, and stuffed it in my pocket giving her an impish grin. “I lied, but they’ll forgive me when they find out why. Stand here for a few minutes and breathe in deeply, it’ll clear the nausea.”
“Did I look that green?” she asked, a wry smile played on her lips.
“Well, not green as such, just more like you were limbering up to hurl,” I laughed and pulled her into my chest. She shivered and I kissed her hair. “This is the longest fucking Thanksgiving prep in history,” I told her, desperate to tell everyone.
“Right,” she agreed. “But from my point of view the last five weeks have felt infinitely longer.” She got no argument from me there. Staying positive that both babies would come through the first phase of her pregnancy had kept us both on edge, but also keeping the news from Colby had felt almost as bad, but necessary with the risks associated with multiple pregnancies.
As soon as Billie had felt stronger and more able to cope she went back to the kitchen, but steered clear of the vegetables and instead volunteered herself to chop fruit for the fruit salad.
Seven times Colby came up and asked me how long it was until dinner, and at one point I had to take him aside and offer some friendly advice, as he had begun to attract attention to himself like he’d hardly ever been fed.
A morning had never felt as long in my whole life, and by the time James and Lorna arrived my anticipation had been killing me, and when my mother finally told us to take our seats in the dining room, Billie looked as if she were going to faint. The moment we’d all been waiting for had finally arrived and for some strange reason my nerves had begun to vibrate.
Once everyone was seated my father gave his usual speech about how he had been blessed with a life of privilege and with it, came an even greater responsibility to society. He talked about how we must not use our wealth to the disadvantage of others or adopt an attitude of entitlement. I knew he thought he’d done well with my sisters and me, but I wasn’t sure he’d felt the same about James, especially not when he was in his twenties and perhaps for most of his thirties either.
Lately though he had shown maturity and I had felt my father’s wealth of knowledge had been directed more toward the next generation than toward us.
After he said his piece he gestured to my mother, who also had her usual thanks for family and friends, health, and her beautiful grandchildren. But now she included extra thanks for the joy Billie and Colby had brought to the family and the fresh injection of hope and tolerance their presence had carried with them. I knew instantly she was referring to Billie’s role in James being accepted by the rest of us again.
As we went around the table each family member gave thanks for their partners, their friends and colleagues, and it felt like a repetition of every year since I’d been twenty, except for the times when Tammy had another baby on the way, but I knew what Billie and I had to say.
Finally it was my turn, and as hard as I’d tried to look serious, a smile crept onto my face. Turning to look at Billie my smile turned to a grin, and she flashed me a toothy one back before she glanced down at her lap and fiddled with her napkin.
Immediately I slid my hand into hers and gave it a small squeeze. Clearing my throat, I looked first to my dad then to my mom; their faces looked too serious for what I wanted to tell them and this made me laugh.
“Sawyer, get on with it, the beans will get cold,” Tammy scolded and thinking of my babies when they had been little more than beans made me grin again.
“Okay, I’m doing it,” I snapped in mock annoyance.
I sucked in a deep breath and stole a glance at Colby, he pursed his lips and stopped himself from laughing and I cleared my throat again.
“Right well … I’m thankful … to all of you, my parents, my siblings, you are at the heart of who I am, whom I have been allowed to be. You’ve been my most avid supporters, despite my unconventional life as a musician, and your faith in me has never faltered. To you, Dad, whose encouragement has always been there for me to follow my gut, to know what I want, and to speak up when I do, I am very thankful for this. To Tammy, for her strength and health and the reminder that we are not always in control of what fate has in store, no matter how careful we think we are. To Caitlin and Lorna, for their steady strength and advice, which I have learned to live by. Their partners too for taking them off my parents’ hands.” I looked at my brother. “I’m also thankful to James for showing me when one door closes a much better one awaits down the hallway. I’m thankful for the beautiful grandchildren my parents have been blessed with, as they are my beautiful nieces and nephew too. However, I guess you’ll all forgive me for saying this year I’m most thankful for my life with Billie and Colby. To say it’s been a doozy of a year with a wedding, a new wife and stepson would be an understatement. This year has given me more than most men could wish for. But … that’s not the end of our news because come June next year … maybe sooner, Billie is going to be a mother again, Colby’s going to be a big brother and I am going to be a father.”
My mom began to stand but I waved her down as everyone at the table erupted in cheers of congratulations. “Trust me, after Billie has said her piece, we can celebrate but let’s hear what my gorgeous wife is thankful for first. And then we can spend the rest of the day talking about our news.
Billie squeezed my hand and hers felt a little sweaty so I flipped it over and kissed it. “Your turn,” I prodded, and she looked down at her lap to compose herself before her eyes darted from person-to-person around the table.
“This is so going to sound like a sob story,” she said, chuckled and shook her head. “Last year right before Thanksgiving I wasn’t in a very good place as I prepared to spend it alone because my ex-husband and his parents had been due to take our son, Colby, on a cruise. This had been arranged long before my husband left and the cruise had been to celebrate my ex-in-laws fortieth wedding anniversary.” Billie stared at me for a long minute like she couldn’t believe what had happened back then.
“Obviously when Sawyer found out I was going to be alone, he suggested I join him and his band on tour for a few days.” Tammy scoffed and Jonathan stifled a laugh, which made Billie grin. “Yeah, that was an … experience,” she offered politely, and we all laughed when we thought about my bandmates.
“You deserve a medal for weathering that,” Mom offered good-naturedly, while my dad nodded and laughed in agreement.
“I want to address the elephant in the room, for me, anyway. When I first met Sawyer I couldn’t believe he was interested in me; a divorcée with a child, albeit a wonderful one,” she said, smiling affectionately at Colby. “But you know Sawyer, when he wants something he doesn’t give up.” She turned and cupped my face with her hand. “However, I still thought men were trouble and that I should run a mile, but I found where Sawyer was concerned I never wanted to run.”
