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“No, not dangerous, I just have to be monitored by my doctors a little more often. There’s a higher risk of going into labor early, and if the babies aren’t in the best positions to come out naturally I may need a little help.”
“What kind of help?” he asked, looking nervously from his mom to me.
“A C-section where they open my tummy and lift the babies out, but all of that is in the future, and I’m sure that would only happen as a last resort. Loads of women give birth to twins every year, Colby. I’m sure it’ll be fine. I was more worried about how you’d feel about me being pregnant and accepting of our new family members than the birth.”
“I’m going to be a big brother,” he stated like he was trying out how the title sounded and I grinned, stole a glance at Billie, and winked as if to say, “we’ve got this,” and she let out a long breath.
“I’m so relieved you think it’s a great idea. These babies weren’t planned, Colby. I had only begun to discuss this with Sawyer when I went to see him on tour, but the decision has been made for us. I wasn’t aware I was already pregnant. I’d have liked to discuss your feelings about this first, but I guess miracles don’t wait until the timing is right,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders.
“When are they coming?” he asked, his gaze darting between Billie’s face and her abdomen.
“They’re due around the 10th June, if they’re happy in here,” she replied, stroking her palm across her belly. “So twelve weeks have already gone, but as there are two babies they will probably come sometime in May or early June.”
“Wow. I’m keeping the same bedroom … I know it’s the biggest but—”
“Absolutely, as the eldest you will be Head Honcho,” I chipped in, immediately.
“What does that mean?” Colby asked, glancing between me and Billie with a fair amount of uncertainty.
“It means you have a privileged position being the eldest. Head Honcho means you are the boss. That gives you certain advantages over your siblings.”
“Like?” he pressed leaning closer.
“You’re older, which we all know already, but you’re in the awesome position of helping your siblings to grow into kind and caring individuals, and your mom and I are going to need a hand with two tiny babies to care for,” I said, being careful to include him from the beginning.
“I don’t do diapers,” he stated like he was laying down the law, and I chuckled again.
“Nope, and when they are tiny your mom and I will do all that kind of thing, and the feeding, but we’re going to ask for your support to cuddle them and keep them amused sometimes, like when your mom is making dinner or as they grow, to read to them.” I sighed. “It’s kind of a fluid thing, you know we all just go with the flow and I’ve no doubts we’ll have good days and bad, like when they are teething or cranky, but if we all work together we’ll make it work.”
“I can do that,” he agreed, and it struck me again how caring and agreeable Colby was, but I wanted to convey that although I was asking this of him I didn’t want him to ever feel he was overwhelmed with duties to care for his siblings either.
“Your mom and I have been talking, and we want to make sure you never feel you aren’t getting enough attention when the babies get here, so on Thursdays when I’m home I’ll be on baseball duty and when I’m away I figured I’d ask your Uncle James, if he could help us out. How does that sound?”
“Good, and my dad needs to step up too,” he muttered, like he had some role to play with our children as well. I nodded because he was right, his father only had one child and his mom would be mother to three.
“Colby, I’m so proud of how you’ve taken this news. You’ve been my only child for all of this time, and I want to tell you how proud I am of you. No mother could have asked for a better son than I have with you.”
“No son could ask for a better mom either,” he shot right back, completely uninhibited in telling his mom how he felt about her. Tears sprang in her eyes and I jokingly rolled mine at Colby.
“Did you just make your mom cry?” I teased, before I reached over and grabbed his hand. Holding it tightly I gave it a little squeeze and shook my head. “There may be times when you change your mind about these little ones when they get here, but never underestimate the love your mom and I have for you. It may not mean you get as much attention at times, but if we are leaving you wanting for some don’t freak out or get jealous of the little ones because their needs appear so much greater. Talk to us, promise?” Nodding he glanced at his mom and then to me again.
“Okay, I promise I will.”
* * *
When Billie told Logan, I had wanted to be there to support her. She hadn’t wanted that, and although part of me had felt hurt, I accepted how difficult this must have been to do this and bit my tongue. I had hovered around outside the coffee shop they met at to offer support to my wife the moment she came out.
It wasn’t a long drawn out meeting and had lasted barely ten minutes. Stepping out of the café together, Logan turned toward Billie and hugged her. I felt relieved he’d appeared not to have dragged Billie down. She broke away from him, stepped back and turned to look at me.
My eyes flitted over her shoulder and I saw him walk away with his head hung low and when I looked back to my wife, I saw she was barely holding it together. Rushing to her side, I hugged her close to my chest and once again, there were tears.
Afterward she remained quiet and I left her to her thoughts, but later that evening, she disclosed that Logan had said, I was good for her, wished her and the babies well, and finished by saying he knew she had always wanted more children. Pity he had always known this and hadn’t cared enough to make this happen when they’d been together.
