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“Not feeling well,” I mumbled, glancing at Hammer who saw right through my lie.
“Are you going to be feeling unwell tomorrow?” Wiggy asked, his sarcastic tone grated and I knew he was irritable since our schedule was thrown off with the bus incident the day before.
“Don’t fucking tempt me, Wiggy. Not today,” I warned, my voice so low and threatening I hardly recognized it myself.
Hammer puffed out his chest and stepped forward. “Okay, and that’s your cue to reel it in and get changed. I’m not getting on that fucking bus with hostilities brewing between you two. I want a good night’s sleep and we’ll wake up in Las Vegas. We have the whole day there before the last gig. It’s been days since I’ve gotten laid, and if either of you get in the way of that there’ll be hell to pay.”
Strings shoved past Wiggy and bumped his shoulder with his. “You heard the man, move,” he ordered, making space and pushing Wiggy in the direction of the dressing room. As soon as he was out of earshot, Strings turned and looked at me with a deep frown creasing the center of his brow.
“All right, out with it. What’s eating your nuts?”
“Nothing,” I snapped.
“A big fucking nothing. Give it up, what the hell’s going on in there?” he demanded, pointing at my head.
“When I called home this afternoon, James was at my place.”
“James?”
“Yeah, I know it’s stupid and Billie loves me, but, dude, I know him. I’d like to think he’s changed, but I dunno … I haven’t been able to shake the knot in my stomach and my guts have been churning ever since.”
“Billie’s mad about you. Seriously, you have nothing to worry about there. That woman would never do you wrong.”
“I know. But … I’m not so sure James wouldn’t try if he had—”
“Now you’re being ridiculous. Look at what your brother went through, you do remember what he told you, right? And as for Billie, she is definitely no Charlotte.”
“Right,” I agreed, heaving a deep breath and letting out a sigh. “I’ve gotten all bent out of shape for no reason.”
“Agreed, now as soon as the kids go to bed,” he said, nodding toward where Hammer and Wiggy had gone, “you and I are hitting the bar.”
In all the years we’d been together, Strings had been the person I’d connected least with until Wiggy began to have issues. He and Hammer had always been close and as Hammer and I were close I had tolerated Strings, although back then he had tended to rub me up the wrong way. It was only when the rest of us were united about handling Wiggy that a true friendship had grown between us.
“Thank God this tour has gone smoothly, I was ready to bounce if we hadn’t pulled this one off. You talking to Flynn about the gig has really helped. I was being honest when I said I’ve had more than a few offers this past eight months, and I’m getting to an age when I need to be thinking about the future.”
“Don’t think I’m not aware of this. You’ve been the only one in the band who has kept sight of what needed to be done. I love Hammer like a brother, but I thought we were finished when he went through his addiction, but Wiggy…I’m still not convinced we’re out of the woods with him. He does appear different this time, like he’s having a period of reflection, but who knows how long that’ll last.”
Strings fell silent, like it wasn’t what he needed to hear and threw back his neat whiskey in one. Grimacing at the burn I knew he felt as it went down, he narrowed his eyes and shook his head as anger rose and I saw him roll his shoulders.
“That’s what makes me nervous, and I don’t know if I can take another financial hit while he sorts through his shit again…or if one day, God forbid, we find him stiff in his bunk.” I thought for a long minute about what he said and I had to agree if I was in his position, I’d likely have left DisKord behind by now.
“I hear you, loud and clear. I’d hate to lose you from the band, but there are no guarantees in this life, although depending on a career with two recovering addicts can’t be offering you peace of mind. My thoughts are if you walk away the band will crumble, and although I think you’re one of the best, I’m sure we could find a replacement keyboard player, but it wouldn’t be the same. Hammer appreciates us, but Wiggy has no idea how lucky he is to have had people like us who’ve stood by him the way we have.”
“I know it’s what we’re supposed to do, stick by one another in times of trouble, but in my case I’ve begun to suffer the consequences of my loyalty to Wiggy, especially this year and I’ve never really liked the guy.” Seeing how guilty he felt for having those thoughts crushed me. None of this was his fault. I sighed and felt how torn he was about the fractures we’d faced as a band.
“I’m going to be frank, and I’ll probably cuss myself for saying this, but you have to do what’s right for you. I think Hammer will be fine, I’ll always look out for him, but Wiggy may be a lost cause. This was his third stint in rehab, and he may or may not stay clean. My best guess is we are on borrowed time with him. It’s up to you whether you feel the band issues are worth the risk, if not, then you take the best offer you feel you can get, and don’t look back. You’d never lose my friendship for taking care of yourself.”
“I really want this RedA gig, no, that’s a lie, I need it—deserve it. If we get that far, then I’ll make a decision afterward, and if Wiggy blows out before then, I need promises from you and Hammer that he’ll be replaced,” he demanded, desperately.
“It’s in my nature not to turn my back on someone because of their addiction. It’s an illness like any other, self-inflicted in the beginning, however, I don’t think the lifestyle of being in a band is best for a guy with the weak will Wiggy appears to have. As much as it hurts me to do it, I promise I’ll shelve him if he lets himself down again.”
