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Chapter Twenty-Eight
The buffet was enormous, and the quantity far outstripped the number of people present. Two chefs worked diligently to replenish a few empty platters, among the elegantly presented luxury foods. They stopped and retreated the moment Sawyer picked up a porcelain plate. Handing it to me, he grabbed one for himself and began loading it with king prawns, caviar and some melba toast.
"Sorry you were thrust into the spotlight out there," he said playfully, a small, wicked smile on his face. "Their curiosity was suffocating, right?" he added. "I figured you needed time to catch your breath after that."
"Thanks, I did, and your family is lovely," I replied, smiling as I glanced up from loading my plate with delicious salmon.
"How do you feel now?" he asked, turning to look at me with concern in his eyes. I noticed the chefs disappear through another door, giving us privacy at the table.
"Somewhere between optimistically okay and quietly petrified," I stated with a small smile of my own.
"They love you."
"I think love may be too strong a word. They don't know me yet."
"They love me, and I love you, and that's all they need to love you. After Charlotte …" he paused like he'd changed his mind about what he wanted to say. "They want me to be happy, and I've never been … well, happier isn't the word for how you make me feel."
"Have you always been this crazy about girls?"
"Never. Only with you."
"Charlotte?" I queried. Sawyer immediately stiffened when I mentioned his ex.
"No," he replied, curtly. He realized how snippy his response had sounded and his eyes softened. Stepping closer to me, his serious eyes searched my face. "That's a sore subject, but my relationship with her was nothing like this," he confessed. He sighed and shook his head. "What we had …" He struggled to quantify his feelings, and watching him remember their time together made my heart ache.
My chest felt tight and I held my breath when I saw how deeply what happened had affected him. "What we had was different. It was a slow burn, close friends-to-lovers kind of a deal. I'd known her for most of our lives before we dated."
The long history they had together crushed me. I'd seen her, she was right there in front of us, and I'd seen the way she looked at him. I could tell for her at least, it wasn't over. "That must have been hard on you, to lose her and your brother at the same time."
"When I found them together, I was devastated." He stopped and reflected again, then shrugged. "As I said, it happened, but I should thank him. It could have been worse."
"Worse?" I asked, trying to imagine how that could be.
"Thankfully, I didn't believe in the concept of marriage then, or I could very well be relating to your experience with Logan first-hand."
"Why didn't you want to marry her?"
"It was never about her. I just never wanted to get married. I didn't believe in owning someone like that, or someone owning me in that way … until I met you."
"Perhaps you were too young when she asked."
"No, my thoughts had nothing to do with age. I didn't want that kind of commitment."
"But you lived with her for six years."
"No, five. We moved in together a year after we began dating."
"Fine. But still, that's a long time if you didn't want commitment."
"Living together wasn't my idea. She pushed and manipulated the situation until it just … happened," he explained, clinking the caviar spoon against his plate as he added another dollop. "She's very possessive. I did love her at the time, I guess I kind of made that concession to keep the peace."
"At the time?"
"He loved me at the time when I slept with his brother, "the sweet, refined Southern voice said, as it cut in on our private conversation.
Sawyer looked up, his sad eyes meeting hers before they turned stormy and he shrugged again.
"Yeah, until she fucked my brother. When I saw that, I knew my gut had been right when it kept me from marrying her," he offered. Sawyer looked away from her and focused back on me. He spoke to me as if she wasn't there. "Weirdly, I have her to thank for meeting you and falling crazily in love, and because of the way you make me feel, I know for certain I was never meant to be with her."
