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"Keep walking and just breathe, darlin'. He's gotta learn he's not in control anymore. If I've read him right, he's all smoke and no fire. Look at me," he chuckled. "Would you take me on?" My worried eyes darted toward his and he winked, letting me know he was confident in the situation, but not overly so, and that his comment was more in jest and meant to relax me than any cocky bravado.
Reaching for the back door, he opened it, but turned and walked away as he did this, leaving my son staring out at me from his booster seat and himself a good ten feet from the car. "Hi, Mom. I missed you," Colby said, his huge round eyes flitting from me to his dad behind me. I didn't look around and my heart squeezed when he unbuckled his belt, climbed out of the car, and hugged me tightly.
"Did you have a great time this weekend?"
"Not great, but okay. Poppy and Daddy fought, so we didn't go to the beach." Concerned, I looked over my shoulder and shot a worried glare to his dad. Logan still stood by Sawyer's motorcycle and it was clear he was reluctant to join me.
"Sometimes adults disagree," I informed our son, as I tried to take the sting out of whatever happened between them.
"Yeah, but they disagree a lot. I don't have to go next weekend, do I?" This was news to me. My mind quickly reflected how subdued Colby had been after spending previous weekends with them. I had previously chalked this up to him missing me, but I made a mental note to watch how he behaved when he came home the next time.
"No, baby, next weekend's your time with me, but try not to worry. I'll speak to your dad about this and it'll be better during your next visit." Colby glanced toward Logan and a guilty look flashed in his eyes. "You did the right thing telling me." When he let out a breath, I knew it had worried him to disclose his true feelings, and he quickly waved at Logan as if to cover up the fact he had said something.
At Colby's cue, Logan came over toward his car and I turned to Sawyer and handed him my house key. After Logan had hugged our son, I asked Sawyer to take Colby inside. "Six one seven four," I said, knowing when he heard the alarm he would know what the numbers were for. It was the same code we'd always had because Colby knew the code, and I'd felt it pointless trying to hide it from Logan.
After Colby was out of earshot, I folded my arms—partly in defense—and partly to stop me from swiping at Logan for distressing our son.
"You fought with Poppy in front of our son? You only have him every other weekend. I won't have it. If you can't behave amicably while he's with you, then he's not going to want to go back. I'm warning you, Logan, if Colby ever tells me he doesn't want to go, for this reason, I'll take you back to court. Now, can you plan to have your next fight during the week when he's safely home here with me?"
"Since when did you get to be brave? Do you think your hippy boy-toy will hang around? He's using you, Billie, just wait and see. He'll be off as soon as something better or someone with a bigger house and no kids hits his scene."
"Is that a fact? For starters, he's a rocker not a hippy," I said, knowing that his words would have torn me to shreds had I not known Sawyer's true feelings. "Also, your opinion of my boy-toy is way off. If that is how you think, perhaps you should be worried about your own circumstances. After all, I know how much you're worth after our divorce. Maybe you should focus on your plaything, in case she finds herself a richer sugar daddy."
"I'm going. No point in talking to you when I'm worried what that guy is doing with my kid in our house while we're out here in the driveway."
"It's my house. And whatever they're doing, I bet Colby's having way more fun than he had at your place this weekend. I mean it, Logan. Deal with her and curb the arguments, or your contact with Colby will only be somewhere you see him alone."
"This isn't done," he warned me again, jabbing his index finger toward the ground. He turned, forced the driver's door open, and climbed inside his car. I didn't stay to watch him pull out the drive and instead made my way into my house.
"Sorry," Sawyer said, gesturing with his hands up to his chest. "I know this is not what you wanted."
"It's fine. Right now, I trust you far more to think about Colby's emotional state than his father." Looking concerned, Sawyer stepped forward and came toe to toe with me. He held me by my upper arms and placed his forehead on mine.
"I know what you said was all for Logan's benefit. I'm gonna go home and give you some time with your son. For the record, Colby didn't ask who I was, but I offered that I was your friend and had given you a ride home."
Taking a step back, his hands slid down my arms until they reached my hands and he held them in front of us, his serious hazel eyes regarding me with concern. "I'm sorry I got in the middle of that out there. I couldn't stand by and watch him rip into you like that."
For a minute my throat felt thick and I took a deep breath, willing myself not to cry. Sawyer sighed, his eyes softening their gaze like he empathized with me. "Don't worry, I get it. This thing between us is going too fast, and you've got bigger responsibilities to take care of. Take a couple of days off and breathe, Billie. I'll be in touch."
Cupping the back of my head, he pulled me toward him and kissed my forehead. The parting between us felt off. An instant knot formed in the pit of my stomach when he walked out the door and tightened with each step he took toward his motorcycle.
Panic I tried not to acknowledge rose from my chest to my mouth as I bit back the words, "No, wait!" as he started his ride, looked sideways at me, and quickly rode away. The voice inside my head screamed, "Come back," as the disappointment toward him for leaving overwhelmed me.
Two days, two dates, and I knew Sawyer was a deep-thinking, considerate, and passionate man. He had given me hope for my future and threatened my newly formed stance as an independent woman at the same time. I felt unsettled at how he had been able to penetrate my layers of hurt so quickly and start to mean so much to me.
It petrified me to know I could easily come to depend on him for emotional support. Alarm bells had rung before I agreed to step into that diner with him, yet I had. Red flags had flown when he’d taken me home to his place, yet lust and exploration silenced them, and yet another barrier had surfaced at the blues festival when he'd confessed to wanting kids.
However, I couldn't deny Sawyer's instinctive need to protect me when he'd challenged Logan and put himself in my way. At that moment, I had accepted his help without hesitation because I'd trusted him to defend me.
"Mom, Grandma said I'm going on a cruise for Thanksgiving." Colby's small voice broke into my thoughts, and I wiped the single tear I had shed and turned away from the window. Turning to face my son, I flashed him an affectionate smile.
"Oh, you got to talk to her this weekend? Yes, that's right, baby, isn't that exciting? You're going to have so much fun."
"Why aren't you coming?" My heart ached because this was Colby's new normal. Not to have everyone in one place. It was heartbreaking when I thought he'd have to get used to this.
"Not this time, sweetheart. I have to work, but Grandma, Grandpa, Daddy and Poppy will be there." The frown that formed on his face almost wrecked me and reminded me how hard this must be for him.
