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"Sawyer wasn't a hookup."
"Not the vibe I got. Where is he now?"
"Just go," I muttered. I felt defeated because I had no comeback, and I felt incensed that he could still get a rise out of me.
Logan snickered and shook his head. "See you Sunday," he reminded me, as he turned and walked back to his car. I waved again to Colby, who was already buckled into his car seat, and watched Logan's broad shoulders and back as he reached the car.
Taking a deep breath, I let out a sad sigh when he slid into the driver's seat. Suddenly my heart ached when my wicked mind flipped for a minute and reminded me how hard and unyielding Logan's back muscles used to feel under my hands.
The immature part of me wanted to put Logan in his place by telling him I had a date, but I wasn't all that confident in what Tricia had arranged. It was to be a blind date, a double date, and my first time out in a decade with a man who wasn't my husband.
A knot formed in my stomach at the thought of meeting a man who looked at me not as Logan's wife but as someone unattached.
My nerves bundled inside when I considered how I was supposed to trust someone else after I had given my trust to a man I had thought would never hurt me and he'd let me down.
My mind was steeped in negativity about Logan, and I felt sorry for any date arranged on my behalf because my walls of self-protection had gotten taller since my incident with Sawyer, and I'd grown skeptical of all romantic relationships.
Thankfully, Tricia was going to be with me and had arranged for us to meet at a well-known dive bar across town, which featured live music every weekend. At least I wouldn't be expected to keep the conversation going all night.
When we finally arrived at the bar, I was introduced to Vince and was pleasantly surprised by my date. He was a friend of a friend of Tricia's, and he sounded as excited about meeting me as Tricia had been to get me to agree to the date.
A tall, slim, attractive-looking man, Vince had light brown hair similar to Logan's, but his eyes were a piercing blue color and thankfully not the same dark brown color as my ex-husband's.
At five foot eleven, he was slightly smaller than Logan, but Vince's charm and attentiveness far superseded that of my ex.
From the moment we met, Vince appeared determined to make sure I had a great time, encouraging me to talk about myself. I felt he was genuinely interested in what I had to say, and it was a nice change from the patronizing lip service I had gotten used to from Logan's colleagues and friends.
Contrary to any concerns I'd had about my reserved nature I wasn't at all tongue-tied. The conversation was light, funny, and I was amazed at how easily it flowed between the four of us.
Perhaps it had been because I had no expectations on my end for the evening I'd felt comfortable, and it had felt as if I had known them for years.
Vince was a geologist and only shared what he did after I'd asked. As he explained how important his job was to the oil company he worked for, I listened attentively and studied his kind-looking face. He had a warm, friendly smile, and although there wasn't any great spark romantically, I liked him.
When Vince finished talking, Graham, Tricia's date, looked at his watch and waved the waitress over to order more drinks, informing us the live music was due to start in ten minutes.
As he ordered more cocktails for us ladies and beers for himself and Vince, I took advantage of the pause in the conversation to excuse myself and headed for the restroom. I was coming out of the stall to wash my hands when Tricia came in and joined me.
"Well? What do you think?" she probed eagerly, her jade green eyes big and round as she stared excitedly, anticipating my answer.
"He's nice?" I replied, honestly.
A frown creased her brow. "Nice?" she screeched. "Have we been looking at the same guy? He's fucking hot. Did you see the way he's been checking you out? The way he's attentive? What else do you want, girl? He's got personality, great looks, a great job and no kids. If I'd had a shopping list for a man, he'd have checked all of those off."
All of what she'd said was true, but there was still something missing, though I'd never have voiced this to Tricia.
Shrugging, I flashed her a small, wry smile. "And there's the problem. I don't have much going for me with a guy like him. He'd get bored. I'm not very dynamic and I have baggage. Besides, I'm not altogether sure I'm ready for this."
"Colby isn't baggage," she stated, and I immediately thought I'd hit the nail on the head with the rest of my excuse.
"I'm not talking about Colby. I'm talking about how I feel about myself, about Logan and his younger model,Tricia, I'm talking about whether, at my age, I’m really up to trusting another man?"
"You'll get there. At this point, it's just a date. What happens is up to you and Vince. Or are you happy to let that fucker Logan map out how you live for the rest of your life?" Tricia was one to talk when she wouldn't commit to any relationship herself.
"No, I'm not happy, and I don't want him to cloud the rest of my life. I'm just not all that sure that I'm—"
"Ready? I get that," she interjected, and her eyes softened as they held my nervous gaze. "It's all you've been telling me since the moment I met you," she reminded me. Luckily for me, the introduction of "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica began to play on an electric guitar in the distance and I interrupted her with a nod. "Come on, the music's starting and I love this song."
After an initial glance toward the stage, I was surprised to see there was only one male musician on stage when it was supposed to have been a band. The lighting had been dimmed and my eyes were still adjusting as we weaved our way back to the table.
