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“Part of the reason I made myself scarce this week is because I’ve been trying to figure out how to deal with everything. Last weekend, my memories started to come back.”
My breath catches in my throat, and I can feel the burn of tears behind my eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She looks down and starts rubbing her hands.
“I needed to sort through some things, and I wanted to make sure that it was real. That I was getting all of them back.”
“And did you? Get them all back?”
“I think so.”
I blow out a breath and lean forward to rest my elbows on my knees and rest my head in my hands.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
I turn to her quickly and take her hands in mine.
“Baby, no. You don’t have to be sorry. That’s your choice. I just can’t believe it.”
She nods her head in a way that says, “I know it’s crazy.”
“There’s more that I want to talk to you about, but I don’t know how you’re going to take it.”
I don’t know why, but I know what she’s going to say before she does.
“You really did leave me, didn’t you?”
Tears well up in her eyes.
“I was thinking about it. I wasn’t leaving you when I had my accident. I needed space and was going to spend just the day in Willow Creek to think things through, but then the accident happened.”
It hurts to hear that she was even thinking about it.
“Are you still wanting to leave? Is that why you needed space again?”
Her hands tighten over mine.
“I won’t lie and say it wasn’t a thought. I’m just scared to be in this world. This isn’t what I wanted for my life, and I don’t want to raise our kids constantly being bombarded by the paparazzi and people following them. I want our kids to have a normal life, and I don’t want to have to do it on my own because you work all the time.”
I feel like she’s punched me in the stomach.
“But I’m more scared of being without you.”
Her words are soft, and yet I feel like she screamed them to the world. I blow out the breath I was holding and pull her into my arms.
“I’m so sorry I ever made you feel that way. I’m so sorry that I caused all of this. If I had just paid more attention and did as you asked, none of this would have happened. I promise you I’m going to do better. I’m going to work less, and I’m going to be the best father to our kids, and if you still want to, I promise to be the best husband to you if you marry me.”
She sniffles and holds me tighter.
“I do want to marry you. I do want us to be a family; I’m just scared. I love Willow Creek so much. It’s where Soph was born, and she’s spent her whole life with the people there. What are we going to do?”
I push her back some to look into her eyes. Tears are streaming down her face, and I wipe them away with my thumbs.
“We will figure everything out, together. We will give our kids the best life possible, and I’m going to make sure that all three of you are happy and never want for anything. I’m not going to mess up again.”
She sniffles and nods her head. A small, pitiful smile on her face.
