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“I remember thinking how sad he looked before I found out about you. He had dark circles under his eyes, and he always had scruff going on. His hair was a little longer too. Apparently, when I started, he had just cut back the time he paid the private investigator to look into what happened.”
He hired a private investigator?
“He paid the guy a lot of money to only take his case. From his point of view, you just disappeared from your home without taking anything with you, and he was convinced you were taken.”
My head is swimming with everything she is saying, and I’m not sure if I’m relieved or irritated when we arrive at the store.
“Mommy! Can I go in?!”
Sophia turns to me when she reaches the door, her face full of excitement. I nod at her, and she drags Chandler in behind her. Jillian and I follow after them, and I hold off on asking her more questions for now. I want to focus on helping Sophia try on her dress and be in this moment with her. There is a part of me that worries that all of this isn’t going to last. That Chandler is going to see that I’m not the woman he used to know and not want us to be a part of his life. I don’t want Sophia to get used to things like this just in case it doesn’t work out, but I don’t want to miss out on seeing her experience certain things either.
Jillian goes to talk to the store owner about our dresses, and I watch as Soph stands in the middle of the store and stares at all the pretty dresses. It’s a small store, we can pretty much see the whole thing from where we are standing. The owner, a sweet middle-aged woman, likes to make sure she is fully stocked on the latest fashion trends. We’ve been in this store many times, and Soph’s always fascinated by the dresses, but this is going to be the first time that she gets one of the nicer ones that cost more.
“Are you excited to see your dress, baby girl?”
She turns to face me and jumps up and down, a bright smile on her face.
“Yep! I’m gonna look like a princess!”
I love seeing her excited and so happy. I smile at her, then look up at Chandler, and the look on his face leaves me bewildered. He is smiling down at her, and there is so much love and joy reflected in his eyes. I don’t know why this surprises me, she is his daughter, but it still isn’t something I was prepared to see. For her whole life, I have been her only parent, the only person who has loved her completely.
“You already look like a princess, now you are just going to have a super fancy dress.”
Her smile widens as she jumps up and down some more.
“Alright, ladies! To the dressing rooms!”
Jillian comes from the back of the store with two garment bags folded over her arm. Soph squeals and takes off to where two dressing rooms are set up. I follow her at a slower pace, and Chandler steps in beside me. I’ve been fully aware of him all day; it’s almost been like a string is attached to each of us, and every time one of us moves, I can feel it tug.
I’m nervous with him so near, he’s been distracted all day with planning and then with Soph, so this is the first time his focus has been solely on me.
“Are you excited about your dress?”
His voice is low, and it makes me think about the dream I had about him.
I clear my throat before answering him. “Um, I’m more excited about Soph’s. She’s going to look so sweet.”
I keep my eyes on the dressing room curtains, but I can see him smile out of the corner of my eye.
“I can’t wait to see the both of you in them.”
His words make my stomach drop, something about getting into a dress that will most likely be form fitting and walking out to show off for him makes me nervous. I think the dream is making me more aware of him as a man and not just some person from my past. I don’t know what to say to him, so I just walk over to the curtain that Soph has disappeared behind.
“Do you want my help getting into your dress?”
“No! I wanna do it and come out to show everyone!”
I roll my eyes at a laughing Jillian, and she just hands me my dress.
“The girl has spoken.”
I reluctantly take it from her and go into the empty dressing room.
The dress Jillian and I picked out is really beautiful. It’s not a black-tie event, so it’s nothing too over the top fancy. It was a lavender sundress that would come to just above my knees. The sleeves rest off the shoulder and are puffy at the top, and the sweetheart neckline will draw attention to my bust a bit more than I’m used to. I put the dress on and spend a minute staring at myself and making adjustment to the hem and cleavage, trying to get it to sit just right before I show everyone.
“I think it fits fine, Jillian. I don’t need any adjustments, so I’m just going to change back into my clothes.”
The curtain is ripped open before I can even finish talking.
