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I don’t know why all of this feels so awkward, but I can’t get past the nerves; I wonder if she is feeling the same way.
“Oh, okay then. I guess that works out.”
I want to make my proposal to her now so that she has time to think about it until Friday, but I don’t really want to do it over the phone. I take a deep breath, turn back to my desk, and sit up. I need to feel more in control for this conversation.
“I’ve been thinking about some things, and I wanted to run something by you.”
Her voice comes through the phone hesitantly. “Okay...”
How do you tell your long-lost lover who doesn’t remember you that you want to get married?
“I think we should get married.”
Silence greets me from the other end of the phone, and I have to pull it away from my ear to check if she hung up.
“I’m sorry. What?”
Here goes nothing.
“I think we should get married. I think it will help us in the long run. Having you as my wife after this story gets out will help ease some of the publicity that we are going to have to deal with. It will help with my business image, and you and Sophia will have everything you need no matter what happens to me.”
She still doesn’t say anything, and my nerves are making me feel like I have to keep talking.
“It will only be a marriage in name. We won’t have to act like husband and wife out of the public view. You can have your own room at my place, and we will even keep the new apartment just in case.”
“Slow down, Chandler. What the hell are you talking about? We can’t get married. I still don’t know anything about you. I just met you a few days ago. I didn’t even want to move in with you!”
Her words and shrill tone make me cringe.
“I know, but this really could be the best for us. You and Sophia are taken care of, and my legacy and business remain intact.”
I will her through the phone to agree. If she does, then I will be able to keep them both close and safe. I will be able to start making Tanya fall for me again while being a father to Sophia. I’m not willing to miss out on any more time with either of them.
“Just think about it, okay? I will be down Friday, and we can talk about it more if you would like, but I told you I want to provide for you and Sophia. I want to be her dad, and this is the way for it to happen.”
I can hear her let out a tired sigh.
“I will think about it, but I don’t know, Chandler, this seems like a ridiculous thing to do. I don’t know you, and it’s been nine years since you’ve known me.”
I don’t want to push her, but I also want to make sure she really thinks this through. This move would open the door for everything I want.
“I’ll think about it, but if I say yes, we agree it’s only a marriage of convenience, yes?”
At first.
I smile at the fact that I got her to agree to at least think about it, it’s the first step.
The rest of the week drags by. I don’t hear anymore from Tanya, and I’m worried that she is going to say no. I want her to say yes with everything in me. We were supposed to be married already. We were supposed to be raising Sophia in my penthouse and have her go to a private school with the best education possible.
It’s been nine years in the making, and I don’t want to wait any longer. I also haven’t heard anything else from Josh. It’s not too out of the ordinary for us to go a while without talking, but I can’t help but feel like this time has something to do with Tanya. I don’t get it, he never had a problem with her before, but ever since the day she went missing, he has made it his mission to cast her in a bad light.
It’s Thursday night, and I’m filled with anxious energy, waiting until the time I can leave and head to Willow Creek.
I need to distract myself from my nerves, so I pick up my phone, grab a beer from the fridge, and go to sit out on the balcony. The air has a slight chill to it, but it helps to clear my head some as I push the call button for Josh. It rings and rings, and I’m getting more and more irritated as I wait. His voicemail picks up, and as I listen to the automated voice telling me to leave a message, I debate if I should.
“Hey, I don’t know if you just got busy or not, but I thought you should know I’m going to Willow Creek tomorrow and I’m going to try and persuade Tanya to marry me. Call me back.”
I end the call and take a long pull from my beer. I really wanted him to pick up so he could keep me distracted for a while. It’s too early to go to sleep, and I’m too wired to even try. I slowly finish my beer, taking small sips as I enjoy the cool breeze and the sight of the lights coming on one by one over the city as it grows darker and darker. Little dots in the night that signify a living person cozy in their home. It’s the city’s replacement for the stars in the sky.
