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She looked over at him, amazed that this was her life. They’d worked through so many challenges that they deserved this little bit of reprieve.
Now if she could only help him move past his issues with making defensive moves with Sabum. As Jason drove her home, an idea came to her. It would be risky and would take time to plan, but if it worked... maybe he could prove to himself that in a pinch, he could do whatever it took to protect himself and those he cared about.
21
Jason
Sabum’s expression hardened as Jason backed away from him for the third time. “You have to get past this, Jason. You must.”
Sometimes, the man reminded him of Master Shifu, the old red panda on Kung Fu Panda. He was stern but had a good heart. And he had hair growing out of his ears.
A shadow passed over the door. Jason instinctively turned toward the entrance to see if it was Hannah but it was just someone passing by. Since the gym didn’t have air conditioning, they usually left the doors open on hot days. The building was in a bad area of town, but the cops policed the streets plenty, and Sabum had mentioned he’d never had issues.
“Should we shut the door?” Jason asked.
“Looking for someone?” Sabum asked.
“Uh... Hannah and I were going to go for a walk after practice. No big deal.” Actually, it was a massive deal. The two of them had started talking about marriage, and what they wanted out of a relationship. Even though he wasn’t quite ready for that step, he had purchased her a beautiful promise ring, and the ring box was in the pocket of his jeans.
Seemingly annoyed by the interruption, Sabum gestured for him to get back in stance. “Don’t worry about the door. Don’t worry about anything. Breathe and focus.”
Jason sighed and dropped his heavy arms. “I don’t know why I can’t get past this. I shake hands, I accept pats on the shoulders, I even love kissing. It’s massive progress, and yet, I can’t defend myself.” He bowed his head and groaned. “I want to move past this.”
“I know you do.” Sabum sighed and gestured for him to sit.
Jason plopped down on the gym floor, completely spent.
“Your technique is strong, but when you’re required to block a hit, you can’t get past the touching.”
Jason ran a hand through his sweaty hair. “I know. I want to. It’s like I see that guy at the movie theater, and I can’t get past someone trying to hurt someone else. I think of all the times in school when someone found out I had a sensitivity to touch, and they made it a game to touch me. I’ve never really thought about it until now, but it’s a major part of why I digressed over time.”
“That makes sense. Unfortunately, that might take years of talk therapy.”
Desperation clawed at his insides. He wanted things to improve now, not when he could mentally move past his childhood. “Don’t give up on me, please.”
“I won’t if you won’t,” Sabum said sincerely. “I know your heart, and it is good. When you look into my eyes, tell me what you see.”
Jason lifted his chin. “I see... a man—”
“That was putting it nicely. Just call me old already.”
Jason actually cracked a smile, and it released the tension he was holding in his shoulders. “I see an older gentleman with wisdom in his eyes. You have dark features, dark eyes, dark brows, but a heart-shaped face. Someone with a big heart.”
“You see much. And when you look at me, do you see trust?”
Jason nodded without an ounce of doubt.
“What good is my heart if I can’t share it?” he grumbled.
“Taekwondo gives us self-control and clarity of mind. We find power in movement, and that power gives us confidence. Every action you make is intentional and every block is a choice. You can do this, Jason. Just as you force yourself to shake hands with coworkers and even people you don’t know, you can also initiate a hit.”
Hope bubbled in his chest. More than anything, he wanted to prove to himself he could do it. He’d hoped for more progress, but it just hadn’t come.
Another shadow passed by the door, catching their attention. Both of them, this time. Sabum looked at his watch and then turned to the viewing window. It was transparent on one side and reflective on the side the students viewed. It allowed parents to watch their kids but not distract them.
“Is someone back there?” Jason asked.
Sabum whipped around. “What? No, of course not. It’s just you and me in here.” Sabum glanced toward the door as two people passed by.
