AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Emilie grabbed a water bottle and the flowers with shaky hands then walked through the entrance. Row upon row greeted her. Oh, boy. Yep, it had changed. She swallowed. Her mom wasn’t buried near the front. Okay, it was a place to start, so she passed one row after another.
Emilie opened her water and guzzled some while sweat beaded and trickled down her back. She’d forgotten how hot it could get in the summertime.
She slowed her pace and started scanning the headstones. At this rate, finding her mom would take forever. Her cell bounced against her leg in her sundress pocket. Hopefully, it wouldn’t fall out of the shallow opening. First the grave then worry about the cell later.
Wait, if anyone knew where her mom’s grave was, it’d be Dean. How could she be so stupid? But… Emilie didn’t want to talk to him. Not after her fit the evening before. Yet there was no helping it. She retrieved her cell from her pocket and pulled up his number under contacts. Dean… Emilie glanced around, unsure what to do. After everything he had done for her, she’d acted like a spoiled child.
Forget it. There was no way she’d call him. Not yet. Besides, if she did, it’d only show she needed him. Whatever. She stuffed her phone into her pocket and started walking again.
By the time she walked half of the grounds, the rose thorns pressed through the sweaty plastic and scraped her hands.
Eventually, she sat down on the grass to rest. “Where are you, Mom?” Even though her mom was gone, she frustrated Emilie. She pulled at her dress to cool herself, and an image of Dean standing at a tree with many low, hanging branches flashed across her mind.
“That’s right.” Excitement grew as the tree took shape in her mind and she stood up again. That shouldn’t be hard to find.
While she searched for oddly shaped trees, she held on to the memory a little longer. The day of her mom’s funeral, Dean had kept his distance. He’d kept a wide berth that day, giving her time to process what had happened.
Space. The word pounded in her mind like a jackhammer. If she lived a hundred years, she’d never say that word to Dean again.
All the trees within distance were skinny and tall. None of them had the gnarly texture she pictured in her mind. After walking some more, she spotted the tree in the older section of the cemetery. She sighed and ran to it. Within seconds of holding on to its thick bark, she spotted her mom’s name on one of the gravestones nearby. Her eyes teared up as she read the inscription for the first time.
Jocelyn Harper Carter
1967-2009
Loved by all who knew her.
Little stone roses were in each corner of the headstone. Emilie fell to her knees and reverently caressed the inscription before her tears escaped.
“Oh, Mom.” Her voice broke as emotion clawed its way up Emilie’s throat. “I should have come sooner.” She placed the flowers in the stone vase. “Things have been so hard without you.”
She bowed her head and sobbed. Hot, heavy tears ran down her face in thick streams, but she refused to wipe them away. Emilie closed her eyes, remembering the hollowed-out face of her mom, cheeks gaunt and tight, eyes expressionless and dark. Her mom hadn’t been herself for a long time, too long. The mental illness started to control her mind, and she hid her medicine away, not taking it most days.
Dinners were no longer peaceful. Her mom talked to the voices in her head, sometimes shouting at them to quiet down. Emilie stayed up long after bedtime, making sure her mother was sleeping peacefully. By the time she was ready to reach out to Gail, or anyone really, her mother’s mental state was a mess. No, Emilie lost her mom long before she breathed her last breath. A sob tore through her.
When she could speak again, the words flowed fast and erratic. “I couldn’t go back to that house, Mom. I moved in with Dad and hated every second until I graduated. I got into Juilliard and majored in dance and business.”
She stopped to catch her breath and then went right back into spitting the last six years into a summary. “Remember that dance company you and I talked about in Boston? I was a shoe-in. I threw myself into work, scoring a few leading parts and getting more involved in teaching dance at local studios. I’ve dated some, but most guys were duds.”
Despite the somber mood, Emilie scoffed. “My most recent relationship didn’t last long. I caught him with another girl from another dance company. I should’ve expected it from someone like him, but I’ll admit it wounded me. Am I so broken that I can’t open up to another man?”
Her tears came faster now. “If only you were here. Why do the people I love always leave?” Hiding her face in her hands, she wept for all the lost times they could’ve had together. She’d never forgive her dad for leaving them when her mom fell sick. Her tears fell faster as the regret increased.
Something lightly touched her shoulder. Emilie gasped and turned around—Dean. He knelt next to her, pain and sorrow etched in his handsome features. “What are you—”
She stopped talking as his eyes watered with tears. Had he heard everything? Hesitantly, she lifted a hand to his cheek and wiped at a tear that fell. At that moment, she knew he felt her loss. “I’m sorry I pushed you away last night. Are you okay?”
He pulled her into his lap and buried his face in her hair. “I’m fine. I’ll never leave. I promise.” Every hoarse word resounded in her head and settled in her heart.
She leaned into him and wept on his shoulder. For a moment, she took solace and let go, allowing herself to mourn again.
He patted her back as she cried. “It’s okay. I cry every time I visit her. I miss the old days.”
Emilie closed her eyes and buried her face in his shirt. It was too warm, but she didn’t care. His smell, his touch, was exactly what she needed to regain her composure. “How did you guess I was here?”
He looked at the flowers she’d placed in the stone vase. “I bring your mom flowers most Sundays, but my usual bouquet disappeared from the back step of Joe’s flower shop.”
She smiled for the first time since arriving at the cemetery, and she squeezed his waist. “I didn’t realize they were yours.”
