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I don't understand. I wish I could say I did.
The guilt of not knowing that Gabi and I had slept together that first time was terrible. But this? This was so much worse.
I'd had too many family members walk away and never look back. I couldn't handle Gabi being one of them.
I turn and walk toward the door, each step heavier than the last.
I stop, just before crossing the threshold. "Will you be at the game tomorrow?"
Gabi turns to face me, eyes wide. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Just making sure you didn’t need space from that too."
"No, Mr. Walker. I'll see you there."
Gabi smiles, but there's a sadness in her eyes that I can't ignore.
As I close the door behind me, the act itself almost feels final.
I hope that the door I just closed isn't closing the door on us.
Chapter 20
Gabi
I've never arrived so early to a hockey game in my entire life.
The kitchen escapade with Jacob had my head spinning faster than a Zamboni on caffeine, and I wasn't entirely sure how I got through the day without combusting into a million tiny pieces.
Sitting in a seat in the Chicago Blades' arena, I try to focus on the upcoming game in front of me instead of the thoughts that are threatening to consume me.
Why did I tell him I needed space? Why couldn't I just admit what I wanted? What do I even want?
My mind is a jumbled mess, and as much as I love hockey, it's not enough to distract me right now. The aroma of popcorn and hot dogs fails to distract me from my mental whirlwind, but at least I have Lexi by my side.
Thank God for best friends.
"So, I'm glad you invited me," Lex teases from the seat beside me, a sly smile creeping across her face. "Seems like you decided to escape to the chilly embrace of a hockey rink rather than face the ghost of hookups past?"
"More like avoiding the ghost of hookups recent. Your kitchen, to be precise," I grumble, trying to focus on the players warming up rather than the memory of Jacob's hands on me.
"Listen, I'm proud of you. Yes...I had to Lysol the hell out of my kitchen. But it's good to know that even at eight months pregnant, things are still...hot in your kitchen."
I groan, burying my face in my hands for a moment. "Do we have to talk about this now?"
"Oh, come on. Stop being so serious. Your love life is spicy, girl. Embrace it." She sighs, hazel eyes going back to the ice. "It's not like all of us have the same luck."
I frown. "Why? What happened with that cute physical therapist Max?"
"Maxwell," she corrects. "And he was a dud. A so-called 'nice guy' who couldn't stop talking about himself. I'd rather discuss your hot sex than my lack of it any day."
"Fine," I said, eyes scanning the ice. "Just please keep it down. The last thing I need is Veronica Corso overhearing and adding more fuel to her already blazing bonfire of disdain."
Lexi smirked, lowering her voice. "Wouldn't want to give her any more ammo. That overpriced poodle wishes she could be as bold and brazen as you. And your," she coughs, "culinary adventures."
"Yeah, well." I shrug, trying to seem nonchalant while every fiber of my being is jittering. "It happened. It was...intense."
"That's the understatement of the century. The tension between you and Jacob could make the championship cup melt."
