Page 35 of No More Heartache


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16

Max

Monday morningI’m staring at the same spreadsheet that’s been on my screen for the past 30 minutes and I haven’t been able to focus on a single line. I pinch the bridge of my nose and then rub my eyes.

“‘Sup?” Dane walks in my office and plops down on the chair in front of my desk.

“I can’t focus man.”

Dane sits up straight. “Are you, do you…” He trails off, unsure of what he’s going to say next.

“No, I’m good there. My mind is jumbled. Dav is avoiding me like the plague, I’m tired and I’m just bored.”

“You’ve been working late man, you should just go home. Go hit up the beach or something.” Dane says.

“Maybe. Feel like playing hooky?” I ask, I don’t want to be alone.

“Let me check with Talia if I can clear my afternoon meeting. I’ll be right back.” Dane leaves and within 5 minutes, he’s standing in my office doorway with his belongings.

I stand up and shut off everything and we leave the building.

“Meet at your house? I’ll change at home and then be over.” Dane says as he heads to his car. I nod and get into my car and then I’m pulling out of my parking space.

I pull into my driveway and run inside the house. I change into shorts and make myself a milkshake. I’m checking my messages, one from my sponsor and one from Leo. I’ve been making meetings a few times a week; Leo and I kept to our word and have gone to the majority of them together and I’ve gone to a few during the day when I’d been stressed. I have been doing relatively well and haven’t had any sudden urges to drown myself in drinking except for Friday night.

Over the weekend, I got bored after Nikki left and resorted to a 4 mile run instead. That’s my game plan now, I drink my milkshakes, go to a meeting and I go for a run. If I didn’t call Nikki over Friday night after Davis and his friends left, I may have been tempted. And even though I met Nikki through the bar, she would be considered as part of my life back then, part of what made me toxic. But she is a human being, and while it may be strange when all I really want from her is sex, we do have some weird friendship, so I can’t completely drop her, right? But now that she knows I’m sober, the ball is in her court. I’m not interested in her in a relationship sort of way, so whatever happens will happen. I’m not actively searching her out, I needed to do something on Friday to let off the steam I was feeling and the best answer was to fuck someone. It was different, being sober. But it was familiar because it was Nikki, but not in the familiar like I want to be with her feeling. I could have resorted to going to another meeting, but I needed to let out my frustration, not talk through it for once.

I need something thrilling right now, something out of my normal. I know I shouldn’t be making huge changes in my life at the moment, but I need to do something. As I’m standing in the kitchen drinking my milkshake, I continue to think of what I need to do. It’s then that I’ve figured out what I needed.

Dane shows up at my house not too much later, he walks in and looks around my space.

“I want to do something, exciting.” I explain.

Dane has a worried look on his face. “Should I be afraid of what this would entail?”

“Not exactly. C’mon, I’ll drive.” I’m purposely being discreet, so Dane can’t talk me out of my decision.

* * *

A little knownfact about me that Dane or anyone was unaware of is that when we were in college, for the fun of it I got my motorcycle license. I took the basic riders course, followed all the strict rules that are given about not riding at night, on the freeway or allow anyone to ride with me for the months that I had my permit. I never purchased a motorcycle at the time, but I have kept up to date on maintaining my license.

Never would I have thought that I would be sitting on a blacked out Sportster frame Harley gliding through the streets following Dane back to my house. I never thought I would ever purchase a bike myself, but I’ve always been slightly jealous of those who did. Now, I understand it. I understand riding a bike keeps you busy and alert as well as my adrenaline is pumping just from the rumble that I’m sitting on. My left hand is working the clutch and putting on my turn signal, my left foot is also switching gears. My right hand is pressing for my front brake as I go into the turn, and slowly I stop accelerating as I pull into my driveway.

I push down the kickstand and disembark from my new ride. Dane has exited my car and is now walking to me.

“How did it feel? Better than when at the dealership?” He asks inspecting the bike.

“Much better. It felt liberating and smooth.” I answer strapping the helmet to the back of the bike. I leaned down and placed my hand along the front end with the manufacturer’s logo. You would think that I’m petting a dog with the small deliberate strokes I’m leaving along the lines of the bike.

Behind me, the crunching of pavement as a car pulls up to the curb in front of my house. Thinking it was Davis, I didn’t turn around but when I heard a car door open and close, I shouted behind us.

“Dav! Come check out my new baby!”

“Um, Max… that’s not Davis.” Dane quietly says which has my attention.

I slowly turn away from my new purchase and my eyes meet with the leggy brunette, Tatum. I don’t know whether or not to blink in case this moment is a mirage but I do stand and smile. I’m afraid to be the first one to say something to break this moment, but I do anyways.

“Nice to see you again, Tatum.” I smile then turn to Dane. “Dane, this is Tatum, we met at the hotel during my… errr… vacation. Tatum, this is my buddy Dane.”

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